Monkey Mints by No Mids
Welcome back to toasted n’ posted where we will be diving headfirst into another dank collaboration between No Mids and Exotic Genetix. With every step deeper into the lineup cementing loyalty and satisfying intrigue; I’m overjoyed to bring you Monkey Mints. A flagship tribute to the last few years of Exotic Genetix, this strain combines two of the breeder’s greatest hits. At an explosive cannabinoid total of 27.6%, Grease Monkey and Mint Chocolate Chip are the proud parents of this simian sensation. No more monkeying around, let’s get down on it.
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I plunge into the vessel to find my nose pinned into place by the resonant tang of Monkey Mints. Steadied by an herbal lance, a sweeping tea leaf advance unveils an iron body. Stern earthy resolve tempered by a grassy sour. Live with tongue-smacking freshness, a peculiar damp bodes forth notions of salty, savory, and sweet all within a gelatinous jacket. The jiggly rejuvenation delivers its weight as evenly as a bean bag chair slung over one’s shoulder. I find myself prisoner to the impossible balance, eventually reconciling that I couldn’t possibly hold both full ends of the spectrum at once.
A sloshing water balloon of benign berry and burgeons a new note of gassy cotton candy. The fanned fluff of raw confectionary spread across a mildly foul cocoa crisp. An earthy sweet tincture forged into shape by a few defining hints of mint and eucalyptus. Stemming from the icy neutrality is the teasing carbonation of a distant diesel. A sudsy sour carpet beckoning me to travel another mile into the hearth of the bubbling burping wood. At its heart, there is a hazy briskness that ignites a shuddering pine crackle across the tender gassy ear. A soapy froth trails off as the finale finds its form in the shape of a hoppy raw roll.
In hopes of coaxing more from the profile, I pulverize the flowers under my nose. A powerful kick dislodges a new torrent of Gorilla Glue bite. A sizzling ferocity drips away to unearth a buried baked vanilla smooth. A cookie studded with hashy chips, the resiny morsels bleed out a rolling citrus edge. Granola, lemon, and the exhausted, yet prevalent tithes of gasoline; rolling sweetness against carving corrosivity serves up peculiar pungency. With the clash finding compromise along a leafy green boldness, the chill of mossy damp and a sudsy sour crisp.
Massive sandstone obelisks are extracted from the jar. Ancient monoliths of forest green that were tanned over by the sands of time. A cheesy beige illuminates the most exposed regions of Monkey Mints, a spattered highlight skipping from knuckle to knuckle. Carefully kicking from khaki to olive, the trichomes dominate the petals so thoroughly that I thought the entire flower to be an endless realm of canvas brown. Upon closer examination, it is easy to peer beneath the dusted canopy to witness a sappy hearth of pine and vivid moss. The sylvan shadows truly shine once your mind locks in, an algae that begins to glow at night.
A landscape with more features than Ambrosia Salad, I feel guilty attributing this strain’s identity to any one chroma. The creamy mirrored depth of the trichomes alone seem to draw a well of personality out from each individual hue. Thousands of stalks ruthlessly distort the atmosphere, so much that some consumers may never notice the rich salad of green beneath. In addition to the disorienting twinkle of ten million lighthouses, needle thin stigmas drag closely to the resin studded faces of Monkey Mints. A frilled mesh of cheesy fire that provides a willing reinforcement to the already dominant fiery glow.
Packed into a hard cone of clumped resilience, the flowers themselves resemble awkward clay creations. Unlikely shapes sealed together by an oven of cosmic creation. A quick squeeze discovers very little as it is effortlessly repelled by the hardy walls of Monkey Mints. For such a remarkably engorged child of Cookies and Glue, these flowers are both remarkably large and solid. Stable is an understatement as these two strains find their footing, together aspiring to a slab of granite.
Leaf to flame, I am charmed by the brief introduction offered by a frozen bolt of hazy crisp. Delivered with seething intensity, the sensation quickly turns to emulate mint chocolate chip ice cream. Whipping to the thick and decadent texture of cake icing, my tastebuds now glide down the ribbons of chilled sugar fresh. The native sour slowly surfacing with hints of the same leafy origin, the spread grows to embody tea bags with a tepid diesel bite.
As the diesel charms of Monkey Mints continue to gradually build, they are vastly outpaced by a pillowy and creamy rich fume. Between an Altoid and peppery hash, the agent works overtime to meld the vivacious gas into an amenable form. Washing off from the grand fusion is a buttery peanut bounce. A woody porous lick offering mesquite kicks of oily kind. Building upon the desert theme, are rising pylons of chalky fudge and aerated marshmallow cotton. Cloudlike confectionary whipped and agitated by the arced blades of diesel and citrus oddity. Ultimately, a cookie dough cool swaddled by coughs of skunky cabbage leaf.
My mind converts to a marionette whos strings have become instantly entangled in a faraway fist. Drawn taught, my mind jolts into phantom action; fulfilling a program set by the unknown. A call to action, I feel frenzied…energized and with utter lack of direction. Trying to establish motive in this moment is like trying to find footing in a pool of quicksand. I churn helplessly in the bogs of my kind, grasping at any branch merciful enough to lend aid. With each foolhardy thrash, I find the psychotropic effects seep deeper into my being.
Moored helplessly in bloated euphoria, only a shudder of giddyness allows me to lay track to this realm. Freeing myself from the alien slush, I feel a hard chill grip my toes. Seconds of a focussed chill pop randomly through my body, freeing my ligaments from the invisible stasis. I trace the clammy snaps through the stillness of my mind. Following the wake of the eerie release, until I become distracted by the stillness of time. I feel as if I can visually count the moments as they pass. My perspective stretches against the dragging timeline of Monkey Mints.
Evermore aware of the temporal phenomenon, the quicksand jacket returns; shackling me helplessly in the past. This time, however, the sands bear a swaddling reassurance. A cauldron soon overflowing with carefree exuberance and a meditative calm. Even for mere moments, I feel truly free, liberated from all plights of body and mind. A long plunge into depths of Monkey Mints will return your soul to you lighter than ever before. Unburden your heart with every breath.
With a name like Monkey Mints, I’m not sure what I was going to receive. Despite my relative familiarity with Exotic Genetix, I still feel like I was surprised by this specific combination. Far smoother and creamier than the genetics would imply, this satisfying smoke was thoughtfully conceived. Thank you No Mids for another exciting entry into the database. For those of you looking for top quality cannabis make sure to go to Fweedom and nowhere else! As always, thanks for reading.
Monkey Mints score: 91/100
Aroma – 16
Physical – 20
Flavor – 17
Consistency – 18
Sensation – 20
Stay high and stay blessed,