Watermelon Punch by H.O.C.

Watermelon Punch by House of Cultivar

Welcome back to toasted n’ posted where we are always ecstatic to see what Cultivar has cookin’. We will be reviewing another phenotype of this strain in the coming weeks, but what we have here today was dubbed Watermelon Punch. I am thrilled when I have the opportunity to indulge in a variety of phenotypes, it makes me feel like it is a rare chance to get to know the strain intimately. Known also as WhoOody Melon #2; this strain is a cross of WhoOoDy and Pakistani Watermelon. Never having heard of either of these strains, I’m interested to see how distinct the watermelon presence is.

Optional Website Donation

Donate when you can, enjoy the review.


Watermelon Punch sings a sweet melody of juicy fruit. Watery and sweet; I’m trying very hard not to take the easy out and compare the aroma to watermelon. A diluted tincture teetering somewhere between strawberry, apple, and cherry. The presence has such a fluid delivery, the profile is delivered in one seamless stream that you must snatch the individual notes from.

Watermelon Punch certainly embodies a healthy kiss of a Purple Punch-esque grape knuckle. Feathery, smooth, and creamy the comparison is undeniable. Additionally, the slick melon edge gives the atypical punch notes a sharp clean edge. A tart bite nips my palate into submission.

The essence of this strain is so refreshing, a deep whiff leaves my entire interior feeling moisturized and nurtured. Playful tangents of tang whip at the finish of every breath. The melon notes have the gentle capacity to shift to lime. This strain is loaded with teasing complexities.

Fracturing the flower offers a few additional levels of juiciness and punch-driven zest, but the profile appears to be rather forthcoming. I will mention that there seems to be a strange added thickness to the aroma now. A hairline trickle of floral cream that really brings the essence together into one cohesive foam. The signature touches of Watermelon Punch now flood the room.

I might just be a sucker for stigmas, but once again, my eyes are drawn to the bizarre brush stumbling across the surfaces of Watermelon Punch. A warm shades of cardboard-honey consume the strands without contest. The hairs stretch to impressive lengths despite their spindly structure. The rioting arms whip across the foliage bridging sporadic henges and highways.

The plump buds birth rich stars of mauve magnificence. Any hue of green has been effectively stripped out of these violently purple flowers. Saturated eggplant petals draw the demeanor of these flowers into deep shadow. Only vaporous streaks of toasted violet serve to enlighten the asphyxiated presence of Watermelon Punch. If you look hard enough you are capable of uncovering microscopic rifts of fossilized olive. In terms of density, these sprawling masses actually offer very little give. I’d argue that this is a very stable hybrid leaning indica-dominant just ever so slightly. (If you want a number, I’d say 60/40 or 65/35.)

It is unfair to condemn this strain to darkness, I always find that strains that are so ambiguously somber truly allow the trichomes to perform. Handheld nodes of scraggly foliage that effectively capture the glistening wonder of the night sky. The sweeping petals of Watermelon Punch swaddle around each other to craft grooved cocoons of dankness. Concentrations of trichomes peak to absurd levels that they actually down out the weighted atmosphere with its creamy mirrors. This phenotype is an example of a strain with explosive personality.

Leaf to flame, Watermelon Punch strikes fangs first. Powerful spikes of rich smoke prong outward, lathered with grape jelly. The light sweetness is the only thing that allows me to divert the ferocity of the impalation. Serrated citrus darts flurry down onto my tongue, reviving me with their electric intensity. The honed strike peaks to brandish overpowering breaths of lime.

Hashy undertones churn the smoke to a buoyant gummy consistency. The studded sweetness resembles Sour Patch Kids or Sour Skittles. A refreshing herbal grit lies at the end of the incendiary trials. Claps of bitter fruit echo on my breath for moments after smoking. The profile is formidable, but rich with zesty intentions.

I feel a momentary spike in my mental awareness only to have it pushed aside by a styrofoam floatiness storming my skull. I feel as if someone just pulled the emergency chord of a life raft inside my skull. My features feel forced outward, my flesh feels flush. A strange touch continues to chain goosebumps across my skin, heralding the bulldozing distortion to come. My eyes feel loose, as if I am sharing the nerves with someone else. A wavy texture is added to my vision, not as if I can’t see, but an abstract smoothness. An ethereal grain painting the invisible faces of time.

Despite the strange nature of my last statements, any bewildering introspection is quickly silenced by the encroaching cushion of suffocating fluff. As if I was cursed by a witch, I’m slowly being converted into a stuffed animal. Gravity feels to be reversed or opposed by the draw from a weaker planet. My whole being feels lighter, as if a faulty tractor beam was committed to extracting me from my house. A stretching sensation of floatiness is what I’ll brand it. I cannot confirm or deny that enjoying this strain summons aliens.

Watermelon Punch, no punch-backs. This strain left me wanting a little more delivery in terms of conversion aroma to flavor. However, this star-spangled specimen is sure to get the attention of any smoke sesh. I cannot wait to see how the other phenotype differs from what we experienced here. As always, thanks for reading.

Watermelon Punch score: 78/100

Aroma – 15

Physical – 20

Flavor – 13

Consistency – 14

Sensation – 16

Stay high and stay blessed,

Kushman Bonglegs

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: