Gorilla Guice by House of Cultivar
Welcome back to toasted n’ posted where we regularly decipher the mysteries behind top shelf cannabis. We will be dipping into House of Cultivar all day long; igniting this respiratory marathon is a strain by the name of Gorilla Guice. A cross of Gucci OG and Gorilla Glue #4, this undoubtedly gaseous hybrid will be out to scar some senses. I’ve yet to try the bizarre kush offspring known as Gucci OG, however, my familiarity with Gorilla Glue #4 should allow me to easily isolate the nuances. Without further a-glue, let’s get to blazing.
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I rip the jar open as a bubbling sour rushes to froth at the rim. These notes are similar to the effervescent sour of champagne but reined in by a stern woody cutting board smack. Gorilla Guice heaves out a cleansing nova of pinching freshness that scalds the exterior of my senses. My punished nose molts into nodes of virgin sensitivity. Arced bolts of dry woody chem adds a rippled grit to the jets of purging steam. The assault embodies a mellow berry cool that it sheds off of the ferocious geyser. Beads of sweet relief are flecked unto my wounded palate.
An awkward syrupy maple-vanilla flood trudges through the warring veil. The caramelized hillock births muzzled fumes of ripe gorilla gas.Tart diesel of this magnitude would normally call for my senses to retreat, however, the gelatinous kindness that companions this note serves well to soothe the serrated gassy edge. The resolved clash resonates into a wake of moist grassy musk.
In the lust of discovery, I dismantle the buds under my nose. I am stricken by raw burps of tacky voracious glue. The paste lays waste to my nostrils, blistering them into oblivion with its powerful musk. Sour, raw, and all-consuming; the Trojan Horse had burst to reveal a gaseous monster. I’m impressed by how well-concealed this was within the introduction, usually a resurgence of this magnitude does not take me by surprise. Gorilla Guice is like a quartz geode that you smash open to reveal a renaissance of dazzling beauty. The assault is one dimensional but prolifically pungent.
Gorilla Guice appears to be very guerrilla indeed, dawning a camouflage of very neutral greens. A seamless jacket of verdant mesh that seems to meld the flower into shadow. Pickled pine petals compete for dominance with brisk shelves of hardened pear. The exchange so even, that the parties seem to blend into one ambiguous shade of asphyxiated somber green. The aesthetic of Gorilla Guice is tuned up a couple notches by the relentless glaze of trichomes prodding outward. Sprawling cities of scintillating lighthouses, beckoning forth eager eyes and lungs. As to further the reach of its appeal, spindly antennae erect from the crown of the bud. Appearing as rows of eyelashes, the sweeping strands outstretch perpendicularly towards the ether.
The architecture of Gorilla Guice is somewhere between a bulky arrowhead and a corkscrew. With a stout base, the bud maintains the burly chassis until the crown calls for it to draw to a four-sided point. At the horizon of this shift, Gorilla Guice seems to mildly contort and begin to wind into the desired terminal shape. I feel as if I can trace the birth sites of the calyxes to find a naturally descending staircase. Stable and confident, a squeeze determines that this hybrid offers a light leafy squish before shoring up into invulnerability. The physical density suggests that this is an indica-dominant hybrid leaning in the magnitude of somewhere around 70%.
Leaf to flame, my tongue is aroused by thick slugs of acidic hash. Savory stings of citrus funnel tumbling thimbles of barbed tartness. Smooth syrupy delivery ushering in arced spikes of carving gas. Assertive is an understatement, I am crushed under the gaseous stampede until I am drawn out by a grassy mint cool. Still reeling from the hashy bludgeoning; I taste the echoes of raw hardened earth. Despite the aggressive delivery, the profile entertains a tenderness. A note akin to wood chips and vanilla that had been doused in Pinesol.
The hit begins as a roaring storm cloud of unearthing gas, but as it passes my scorched palate is showered with berry, citrus, and earthy kindness. Luscious grainy caramel pours over my simmered wounds, a gelatinous relief of unassuming sucrose. The sludge slips over my tongue to provide temporary sanctuary against the irradiated diesel air. Within this realm of protection, my senses are soothed by a benign cool accented with tender notes of black pepper. Enticing and provocative, this realm of quashed atmosphere offers welcome relief and a virgin appreciation for the flavorful annihilation that undoubtedly awaits me upon my exit.
Wafts of aloof inebriation bestow my mind. My naturally rushing thought patterns are slowed to a crawl or even an all-out halt. I relish this temporary salve to my overburdened conscious. This mental hiatus causes me to intensely cherish my attachment to my physical vessel. It sounds strange, but my fingertips and feet seem to feel more intensely the textures applied to them. Everything I touch has an additional cushioned appeal as well as an odd layer of greasy slickness. My universe has become smooth and slippery, all that I had to do was introduce a little Guice.
Cranial tension melts and pours out of my ears. A tea pot of stress vacating its contents in hopes of existing in the present. My field of vision seems warmer, as if a mild sepia filter had grafted to my eyes. I may just be getting exponentially higher, but I feel that my vision is sharpened in this moment. Barring additional rants, Gorilla Guice seems to be an enhancement to nearly every aspect of the physical realm. By sacrificing your plighted mind for a couple hours you may experience the bountiful peace and warm presence of Gorilla Guice.
I am not ashamed to admit that I liked this strain a lot more than I was prepared to. I was scoring the preliminary categories like okay, okay, really? Is this just going to run up a perfect score? That being said, the overpowering blistering goodness of Gorilla Guice does fall off after a few hits as well as the high being a little more focused than I would’ve liked. For those simply wishing to shed themselves of the long day in coordination with some highly provocative terpenes; this strain is for you. As always, thanks for reading.
Gorilla Guice score: 95/100
Aroma – 20
Physical – 20
Flavor – 20
Consistency – 17
Sensation – 18
Stay high and stay blessed,