Point Break by Phat Panda

Point Break by Phat Panda ‘Platinum Series’

Welcome back to toasted n’ posted for a particularly challenging article. It is rare to have the words Phat Panda cross my lips, but my intrigue has been piqued by their Platinum Line. Every grow deserves a couple shots and I find their new line an ample opportunity for revisiting. For those wondering, I acquired this from the stellar folks at Local Roots – Hwy 99! I’ve been hearing excellent things about Panda’s Trophy Wife and Tropicanna Cookies, so what better example than the culmination of their two famed flowers?

Tonight’s strain is Point Break, you guessed it, a cross of Tropicanna Cookies and Trophy Wife. Trophy Wife is their super cemented Wedding Cake cross and of course Tropicanna of all varieties has been taking the shelves by storm. I’m unsure of exactly how a Cookies and Wedding Cake cross is supposed to be a sativa, but time and fire will tell. Point Break tests in at 22.50% total THC and 1.60% terpenes. I’m always willing to be proven wrong; let’s chew the fat of this Panda.

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As I greet the exotic experiment, I uncover a breeze of roasted woody citrus funk. Thorns of prickled hash roll through channels of zesty fruit. Caramelized barbs that till out the buoyant citrus expanse. The gentle profile looms over my palate like a menacing storm cloud. A brief spell of cheese spills down onto a bed of tangerine of curdled vanilla. A grassy knuckle carves out of creamy eucalyptus sleeves. Alternatingly funky and fresh, the profile proves to be a two-faced bounty of ripe sensation.

In pursuit of dismantling the bubbly tropics, I pulverize the flower beneath my nose. A graceful augmentation of nutty cheese suds to the surface of the profile. A whisper of citrus buried in hillocks of cream cheese and chipped pistachio. Emanating a milky funk, the foul tang fuels the citrus splinters. I sip the greasy liquer of hoppy orange and acute herbal remedy. As the profile emboldens it discards the scorched tartness of orange to hone its wake of tangy cheese. Other than the slight repositioning of the profile’s attention, Point Break is rather mild-mannered.

The first thing I notice is how the Point Break flowers heavily lean into the classic Wedding Cake architecture. Typical Tropicanna Cookies varieties struggle to reach flowers of this size, it seems the indica-dominant partner went a distance to sure up the stability of this strain. A bloated thumb of flower mimics the bottom half of a banana. A bulbous arm that cranes gently; an undetectable degree applied over rows of frosted hillsides and tangled valleys.

Point Break cloaks itself in the bottomless mystique of its Tropicanna parent. A murdersome hue of eggplant drenches nearly every fiber of the flower. Streaking through the blizzard of shadow are gasping streaks of irradiated lime and saturated moss. These pockets, while present, are nearly undetectable within the boundless dark demeanor. Speckling the purple sky are raging streams of resin. Rich veins that crash and kareen through the rippled nooks of the bud.

Point Break appears frozen in time, petrified by snared shelves of entombing psychoactivity. Still, nothing about this flower alludes towards sativa potential other than the gentle dusting of citrus terpenes. I test the signature awkward foamy composition of Phat Panda; to my surprise, this strain is profoundly sturdy. Unflinching by some definitions. While flexible to a degree and holding a feathery aesthetic, I may uncover some challenges attempting to break…Point Break.

Leaf to flame, I tread carefully across the magmatic profile of Point Break. Hashy pulp pockets burst to launch plumes of chalky citrus and tenuous grape accents. As the atmosphere fills with hashen grit, tight coils of vanilla bleed out a satisfying hardiness. The muddy sweet sap puddles against stern streams of herbal gas. Beads of sylvan sweat pool upon my tongue. Mellow claps of tree bark beat my tastebuds, coaxing out a melody of subsequent brisk woodland charms. The profile ultimately terminates into a crispy pastry sweetness rolling over a peppered backboard.

I feel a cloudy mellow begin to build in my skull. A general sense of floaty ease compiles behind my ears. The liberating expanse began as a sense of empty relief, but is now building into pressure. The invisible knots draw open my eyelids like the bridge over a castle moat. A forced energy sparks electricity between my eyes, my irises buzz with strange sensation. I feel as if my sockets began to swell, further affixing my eyeballs to my skull, honing my focus.

I uncover sanctuary from the bizarre tension as the sloshing sensation decompresses over the remainder of my skull. A diluted euphoria begins to creep down to my neck, freeing it of tension and stress. Strangely, the trickle of kind comfort seems to cease there. Point Break seems to exclusively effect the head up, or at least for me. I feel virtually no change or irregular sensation in any other region of my body.

Now, I don’t mean head high in the traditional sativa sense. I mean a body high specifically affecting the neck-up. In addition to a squelched vibration of physical relief, I experience a modest pseudo-caffeine high. The energy level is comparable to smashing a Monster Energy Drink over the course of five minutes. You’re grooving, but just sharpened and maybe a little overinvested in your surroundings. It is surprisingly easy to control and manipulate the energy into being productive once you find your bearings.

Well, that was interesting. As the review began; I truly held fists full of optimism. The flower has immaculate presentation, a mildly impressive aroma, and a decent ‘green-hit’. The allure ceases there, this is just regular Panda product. Flower that immediately forfeits its gentle nature to a smoldering bed of biting ash.

This is decent weed, but nothing new from the producer I personally consider to have bamboozled half of the state into thinking is top shelf. These reviews are supposed to be unbiased and that is why I left this mild rant until the end. Rest assured that this product was scored with the utmost integrity and with no animosity. As always, thanks for reading.

Point Break score: 71/100

Aroma – 16

Physical – 19

Flavor – 16

Consistency – 8

Sensation – 12

Stay high and stay blessed,

Kushman Bonglegs

2 comments on “Point Break by Phat Panda

  1. JESUS!! I didn’t realize I was reading “To Smoke a Fucking Point Break Herb”. Go write a fuckin fiction novel!!

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