Gelato Cake by Royal Tree

Gelato Cake by Royal Tree Gardens

Welcome back to toasted n’ posted where we are constantly hunting down the latest and dankest. This afternoon, we will be revisiting an old friend, Royal Tree Gardens. They have recently really kicked up their game bringing out a fresh line of tantalizing strains with high test results and vibrant packaging. The strain I chose from their lineup to review is the irresistible Gelato Cake. A strain signifying the apexes of the time, I had to see what crazy heights this combination can achieve. This particular batch boasts 27% THC and that is surely enough to get me excited. I can only suspect that this strain is the cross of Gelato and the famed Wedding Cake. Fork and knife in hand, I’m ready to feast.

With guarded enthusiasm I free the genie from the bottle. It takes a second, but it wasn’t long before my nose was enchanted by the siren song of its earthy fruit drip. I was beckoned forth by an astral arm of cradling cool and blueberry cream. I am drawn into a pool of sour succulence that becomes exacerbated to foul lengths. I find myself rolling around in a bed of fluffy soil and syrupy afghan hash. Amidst the frenzied tilling, I uncover a pocket of tender gaseous vanilla. Only the slightest spurts of limonene prove to be bold enough to disrupt the bulldozing afghan atmosphere. The storm quashes into a massaging melody of subdued spice and floral resonance. The profile proves throughout a buoyant tenderness, a marshmallow composure.

In efforts of defeating the kind composure, I snap the largest flower under my nose. The savory evisceration births a corrosive cloud of tacky glue-esque gas. The rent fragments of afghan ferment into a satisfying funk. The profile becomes boundlessly rich with sincere emphasis in its gassy, herbal, and foul components. Gelato Cake is clearly a menacing brew of all of the fiercest afghan traits that the parents had to offer.

Gelato Cake presents itself like the dooming iceberg that felled the Titanic. Completely coated in foaming white trichomes, these flowers appear more as heralds of an imminent ice age rather than cannabis. A teetering spire of bulging rippled scales, Gelato Cake is truly a monument to the Gods. Emblazoned with succulent mauve, pulsing violet, and drained lime; the spectrum below the frosted canopy is rich. The gentle hues are complimented well as they are hazily reflected in the overarching trichome heads. I test the density of the haphazard monolith with an assertive squeeze. I find that these flowers offer virtually no give at all, they are the epitome of a bulwark indica. Gelato Cake appears stable and flawless in virtually every way. I’m not entirely sure you could fit more trichomes on a flower.

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Continue my quest.


Leaf to flame, I spark a hellstorm of hard citrus armaments. The projectiles unleash tides of explosive citrus. The discarded shell reek of smoky lemon and embed their shrapnel deep into my tastebuds. The influence of Wedding Cake is now violently apparent. My nose contorts and seize as it reels from the righteous magnitude. The wake of the assault is surprisingly smoothing as moist rocky freshness babbles from the wounded battleground. The air is lightly doused with the freshness of invigorating leaf and crisp berry. The breath finishes into a subdued simmering of afghan hash. The blistering kushy advances eventually wither off of the smoke to feed the smoky hashy furnace. The profile dissipates into a dispersed woody citrus.

My skull is instantly converted to a hollow marble rolling around the concave space between my shoulders. My eyes glaze over and become of little use as I am cast into the depths of my being. I feel my perspective and general sense of self fall from my brain down into my heart. Even my center of gravity feels to have dropped a considerable distance.

An uncompromising mellow washes through my ears, cleansing my spirit of all negativity and semblance of hate. I imagine that this is the peace you feel at death. I am fine with the impermanence of all and the chaotic nature of the universe in this moment. Overjoyed to be a fractal in the ever-shifting equation. While I contemplate quantum entanglement, my body is phasing through quantum en-tinglement. Bad pun, okay. My physical form vibrates with squirming worms of euphoria as they singe away all of my ailments. Gelato Cake is truly a cocoon of joyous meditation. Such ravenous exploration of self does become exhausting, so I teeter on the edge of consciousness in attempt to finish this article.

Gelato Cake goes 0 to 100; real quick. As I revised my semi-coherent notes, I really came to terms with how high I was..and still am moments later. I had no idea that I was going to like this strain as much as I did. Not every strain is for everyone, but this one is. Just get some. Do yourself a favor. As always, thanks for reading.

Gelato Cake score: 97/100

Stay high and stay blessed,

Kushman Bonglegs

Aroma – 19

Physical – 20

Flavor – 20

Consistency – 18

Sensation – 20

1 comment on “Gelato Cake by Royal Tree

  1. What an amazing journey I was privileged enough to find! Thank you Mr. Bonglegs, I was right along side you through the scent but unfortunately my buds aren’t quite as beautiful as yours. Don’t get me wrong, they’re a sight but yours looks like magazine weed!! Now I’m off to continue the journey where I paused, the 🔥to the 🍃! ✌🏻

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