The Grinch by H.O.C.

The Grinch by House of Cultivar

Welcome back to toasted n’ posted where we will be warming the heart of a cold creature. This is The Grinch from House of Cultivar. The Grinch is the high-yielding hybrid cross of Mendodawg x Underdawg. With a double-down on the dog heritage, I suspect mendo fans will be clicking their heels together. As with everything that comes out of their gardens, I’m sure this strain will be spectacular. Let us see if this strain makes our lungs three sizes too small.

A bold bubbly geyser spurts from the vessel. Supporting the comparison, the note seems to carry a peculiar heat. I trace the tepid warmth as it mists through the body of the fragrance. As the warm stew falls, the funky dew of a damp field lies below. My palette is grazed by a withheld citrus, like dried lemon peels. The rotund tart zest is marvelously buoyant as it echoes effortlessly off of the meadowy backboard.

I uncover a realm of luscious briskness. A jungle forever trapped in a summer storm. I chase the pungent precipitation as it falls onto a grove of raspberry bushes. An uplifting sting digs into and defies the initial funky grit of the mendo. The aroma finishes into a gentle breeze of juicy floral qualities. A potpourri designed to soothe the weary soul.

This aroma is far too kind for something with such a moniker of cruelty as The Grinch. Perhaps a little agitation is necessary. I crack open its confines to uncover a brilliant resurgence. Much to my surprise, the buried Mendo qualities claw out from beneath the distracting bright chorus. The woody dank is enhanced to entertain a degree of tangy cheese. A mesmerizing foulness that sinks hooks into the depths of my nostrils. I am helplessly dragged deeper into the smoky realm of syrupy foulness.

The appearance of The Grinch is a tantalizing array of lively green hues. A glowing lime trades the spotlight with strokes of weathered pear and nooks of striking fern. The Grinch has matted fur born of a scraggly demeanor. The petals thrash wildly in every direction summoning a lightning storm of verdancy. The gnarled spire maintains a wide frame as it stacks in haphazard heaps. Defying the salad of leafy hues are the wild hairs spurting from the winding crust. Dehydrated tangerine stigmas spawn in great number like an endless network of sun-beaten telephone poles. The weathered orange is a gentle compliment to its frosted demeanor.

Challenging the seemingly spread structure of The Grinch, I attempt to crush the heart of the flower. While my touch is met with some squishy relief, it doesn’t take much for this strain to assure you that it is a full-bodied hybrid. A modest density reinforces the spread tendencies of the phenotype. My insolence is rewarded by coating my fingers in a thick inescapable sap. You’re a mean one…Mr. Grinch.

Leaf to flame, I tongue is roasted by a steamy mist of eucalyptus. My woulds simmer with a hashy finish. A stern funk entwines with a minty crisp. There is a clean distinction between the two notes as they wild around each other like a helix. Beneath the rampaging bolt is a patch of slick grassy citrus with a cleansing floral finish. The culmination is quite similar to a lemon cough drop. There is a certain creaminess added to the profile the longer I subject myself to its advances. The body of the flavor expands to entertain additional weight and make room for more of the light-hearted citrus tang. A stealthy chem eel slithers in the wake of the bulldozing freshness. The delivery is acute and bold; similar to an extremely light roast coffee.

I feel as if a wrecking ball had just caved in a portion of my skull. The crater invites in a cool wind to encapsulate and cool my brain. Still reeling from the impact, my perspective struggles to recover and instead begins to shift its focus. A chilled electricity tingles through my extremities, lighting my circulatory system with a casual fluidity. I feel more alive, awakened from a walking sleep. I contemplate wild tangents of conspiracy as my physical form gradually deteriorates. With time, I become no more than an overactive imagination.

I heaviness falls over my eyes as if large bags of cement were placed atop of them. Teetering from the awkward weight, my neck transforms to gelatin. My mind is flooded with aloofness, I couldn’t be bothered to entertain a serious thought. I feel as if my IQ has dropped fifty points while under the draining influence of The Grinch. I feel myself melting, body and mind, into a euphoric puddle of sensory bliss. If this strain is truly a hybrid; it has the subtlety of a howitzer.

Goodness gracious, The Grinch is a stunning strain. I wasn’t suspecting to be as impressed as I was with this production. I knew their Mendo cuts were good, but I didn’t know they were this good. My appreciation for Mendo crosses is blossoming everyday. Don’t hesitate to pick up The Grinch by House of Cultivar, independent of whether or not you’ve been naughty or nice. As always, thanks for reading.

The Grinch score: 97/100

Aroma – 18

Physical – 20

Flavor – 19

Consistency – 20

Sensation – 20

Stay high and stay blessed,

Kushman Bonglegs

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