Tropicanna Cookies by H.O.C.

Tropicanna Cookies by House of Cultivar

Welcome back to toasted n’ posted where we appreciate the finer aspects of cannabis. Today, we have one of the hottest strains from one of the most popular brands in Washington. We will be appraising Tropicanna Cookies by House of Cultivar. This strain has been getting a lot of attention lately, being grossly experimented with among i-502 producers. Tropicanna Cookies is the bold child of Girl Scout Cookies and Tangie. These two strains carry a lot of clout in the market and with that, high expectations. House of Cultivar isn’t in the business of letting people down so I must expect this will be one of the best representations on the market! Time to break off a chunk of some Tropicanna Cookies!

I crack open the shell to greet the fruity contents within. I am welcomed by a funky stern zest. The peculiar sour bridges out from the withheld pulpy juices below. Tepid springs of citrus burst from punctured pockets of ripe fruit. A tropical damp wrings its tickling musk across a landscape of chilled forest rain. Within this juicy jungle, I uncover a mineshaft rich with dehydrated diamonds of raw citrus grit. Falling somewhere on the spectrum between Tang powder and orange Gatorade mix; the puckering dry delivery leaves you wanting more.

Tropicanna Cookies is timid in its delivery system; pulsing in magnitude and in quantity of odors released. I crack the flowers in hope of forcing some semblance of consistency. My nose is driven back by a hashy afghan cataclysm. Tectonic plates of rich syrupy earth shift, kicking plumes of smoky orange zest over the fragrant fissure. The piercing dryness of the orange zest washes over all competing fragrances, wrapping them up in a chalky blanket of fruity relief.

A drained blue veil falls over the entire presentation of Tropicanna Cookies. The strain is largely painted by a seductive scheme of grape, eggplant, and plum. Frosted spectacles of deep purple provide a background of plummeting depth upon which the trichomes can truly shine. The shadowy demeanor allows the resin glands to gleam like thousands of excalibur. Fat milky glands curl and roil across the frozen steppes of wriggling verdancy. The suite of purples radiate an asphyxiated blue aura, however, there are occasional interjections of feathery pear. Jet streams of dehydrated green war paint streak in brief gasps across the faces of the Tropicanna planet.

In aimless rebellion, the exterior petals writhe frequently and far away from core. The buds are structured like boulders in a Roadrunner cartoon; rotund nodes haphazardly stacked towards the sky. Loose leaves weave around the hardened central node of sunken flesh, giving the buds the illusion of fragility. For a strain considered to be primarily sativa, the Girl Scout Cookies heritage speaks up when it comes to density. My modest advances are met with concrete resistance as my fingertips make contact with the frosted crust. Crackling out from the impenetrable surface are surging bolts of roasted orange electricity. Some may call them stigmas, but the hairs appear in unruly patches of jolting lightning arcs. In every sense, Tropicanna Cookies is a parade for the senses.

Leaf to flame, my tongue is scalding by a smoky burp of slick citrus. A punishingly raw blend of Windex and Tang drink mix. The stabbing acidity of the fruit drenches my tongue, forever tainting it with its rich brand of citrus seduction. My mouth is soon completely conquered and blistered by the barrage of peppered hash. The flavor is delivered through a lancing mechanism of steamy heat. The orange terpenes crash into my tastebuds like thousands of drop pods from a citrus spaceship. The projectiles impact deep into my tongue, sounding shockwaves of rich afghan tar. Occasionally, the tectonic tastes awaken dormant pockets of floral lava that burst with lavender spice.

As the bowl chars, the profile becomes exponentially peppery and sharp. The flooding pulpy qualities are slowly strangled and squelched by the creeping crust. However, the initial contact with the orange terpenes are so potent, they may still be hanging on your breath as you encounter the heavier characteristics later on. The bowl finishes into a gentle bed of simmered driftwood and bright peppered herb.

The high instantly kicks down the door to the domicile of my mind. Storming the complex, the sensation sends my mind rocketing away on divine inspiration. I can hardly control the unruly energy that had been bestowed upon me. I feel that my brain is actually operating too quickly. The sides of my skull feel as though they had flown off and my thought process was allotted more room to operate. I feel a chilling wind wisp through my ear canals, delivering cool kisses to my overheating brain.

While the beginning of this high is immensely cerebral, it doesn’t really carry a self-contained desire. I mean this in the sense that cannabis usually drives me towards a particular activity or mood; but, this high is bizarrely stagnant. This isn’t unusual for cannabis, but the lack of control becomes excruciatingly apparent in comparison to the drastic rise in consciousness.

I am fully aware as my overloaded mind spirals into metaphysical babble. I accept my fate, forfeit control, and begin to acknowledge the dripping euphoria drizzling through my limbs. My knees especially, are paralyzed by a creeping numbness. A subtle stream of massaging warmth snakes through my joints; easing away minor aches while I was consumed by the mental mayhem.

Oh my lord. Cannabis of this quality is quite rare indeed. I would give the flavor an excess of twenty points if it was possible. Unfortunately, the slightly withheld aroma is going to hold this strain back from achieving a score more deserving of its caliber. The high was rioting with sativa drive and the delectable flavor had a permanence one may encounter once in every one hundred strains. Tropicanna Cookies by House of Cultivar is of the highest caliber and you’d be absolutely insane not to go get some. Who knew weed could taste this good? As always, thanks for reading.

Tropicanna Cookies score: 95/100

Aroma – 17

Physical – 18

Flavor – 20

Consistency – 20

Sensation – 20

Stay high and stay blessed,

Kushman Bonglegs

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