Random Task by H.O.C.

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Random Task by House of Cultivar

Welcome back to toasted n’ posted where we roast the finest dank that Washington has to offer. Today, we have Random Task by House of Cultivar. While the name may be an obscure nod to the parody character from Austin Powers, we know it to be the powerful offspring of Grateful Breath and Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies. I am all-too familiar with Thin Mint, but Grateful Breath has me intrigued. Apparently, this provocative strain the child of Cherry Pie Kush and something called Joseph. As I feel this analysis quickly derailing into ambiguous nomenclature, we’ll dial it back and keep our assessments to the characteristics. I’d assume this strain to be indica dominant based on the heritage, but as all of you know, only the terps will tell. 

As I unscrew the jar, I am greeted by the fluent charms of Durban-dominant Cookies. The classic bouquet storms my nostrils; an assault of herbal sour grooving to a savory chamomile melody. A thin crisp hangs in the air, a woody frost. Scattered peppery spikes hang in the air, catalyzing the reaction. A gassy grease bleeds out as a byproduct of the warring factions. The initial aroma of Random Task is astoundingly consolidated in the very few directions it chooses to pursue. Something is amiss, I know there is more to discover. 

In a desperate plea, I pulverize the largest bud under my nostrils. The trickling of greasy essence builds, stirring with the natural-born sour. Vivacious vapors build into a whirling knuckle of gritty glue. The playful licks of peppered candy continues to prod the performance along. Sweet lances of gas erupt from the crunchy confectionary. The raised weapons are fashioned out of a violently hashy citrus. The contending note is so potent, it matches the magnitude of fertilizer. Once this dimension had been unlocked, my room became hopelessly dominated by the unruly afghani slurry. 

Random Task presents itself in an arrangement of over-inflated kushy nodes. Oblong spires of spread petals arc inward, protecting the hardened fruits within. The exterior of this flower is gentle, fuzzy at times. However, with only a little pressure applied onto the surface, you will recognize the bolstered resilience within the cores of these flowers. 

The landscape of Random Task carries a rather pale demeanor. Faint greens melt away into the frothy gold shoals of trichomes. Dehydrated lime and weak olive hues appear so weathered that they are often closer to a banana-white rather than any spectrum of green. As tender and golden as the verdancy below, stigmas emerge from the crust in limited number. What arms that do manifest, sweep closely across the skin of Random Task.

A static trellis of cheesy peach weaves forked veins into the resin-plastered surface. Trichomes stand in rioting succession, flooding the ridges of Random Task as if they were standing on each others toes. I attribute the high resin content to the ghostly aura that this strain projects. The trichomes are abnormally long, as if they are outstretched hands trying to greet you. I can’t wait to make a proper introduction.

Leaf to flame, my tongue is teased by a bitter embrace. Plumes of peppered sugar coax my taste buds along a crumbling crust of buttered pastry. Rolling atop, an aerated sour zest clashes with tides of abrasive cleansing herb. Piercing earthen sour rides a wave of bright pine. A hashy wake grounds all of the playful competitors. The chorus is ultimately refined into a smooth asphalt of roasted citrus and tongue-smacking hash. As the bowl finishes, a nuance emerges. A disruptive mint washes over the green freshness of damp leaf serving as an uplifting tick out of the muddied bog of savory earth. The penultimate hits of each bowl are exceptionally mint; this is a strain worth smoking to the ash. 

The high asserts itself rather quickly. Before I can take a second hit, I feel a dart of mental focus plunge into my forehead. My mind begin to race, excited by what this foreign augmentation has in store. My thoughts spin complacently in childlike anticipation. I receive no direction or discernible suggestion; I am left to whirl alone atop a plateau of unbridled invigoration.  

The muse of energy finds no channel fit for its escape so it distributes its power across my limbs. A chilled electricity wires my body into a loose exuberance. A cheesy grin crawls across my face as plunge into the depths of my madness. My heart races, pummeling me with gasps of strained euphoria. I feel my willpower gradually erode as I slip into the comfortable sleeve offered by Random Task. A warm mind-numbing tickle drizzles through my skull; warding away the overwhelming rush of frozen inspiration. I now linger between realms, bobbing in and out of meditative incapacitation. 

This Random Task is performed with great purpose. There are a lot of notable things about this production. I believe the consistent and smooth distribution of the flavor in tandem with its magnitude of sensation marks this strain as one worth trying. I decided in conclusion of this review that I would start to reveal a little more about my grading process. Enjoy the minor point breakdown which will now be demonstrated below. As always, thanks for reading!

Random Task Score: 83/100 points

Aroma – 14

Phenotype – 17

Flavor – 15

Consistency – 19

Sensation – 18

Stay high and stay blessed,

Kushman Bonglegs

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