toasted n’ posted proudly presents…
Cookie Glue by House of Cultivar
Cookie Glue by House of Cultivar
Welcome back to toasted n’ posted where the grass is always greener, unless its purple. Today, we have another powerhouse strain from House of Cultivar. This strain is named Cookie Glue is sure to be another fan favorite. I make this modest claim considering the parents are Gorilla Glue and Girl Scout Cookies. These two strains have flooded the mouths of customers and budtenders alike for as long as I care to remember. What insane power will be unlocked with their powers combined? Let’s find out.
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Foolishly flying into the jar, I am skewered by a sour lance. The tip padded by a softened sugary confectionary. I gather my wits and attempt to pursue the teasing candied qualities. During my quest, I am constantly checked and challenged by the abrasive cutting sour. I feel as if I’m blindly sifting through a jar of broken glass in attempts of pawing out powdered sugar. I trudge through the pain to uncover a hideaway of rich gas. Mild curdling diesel notes trickle upward into a bank of righteous steamy vapor. The hot jet entertains a leafy spirit. I lean into the strange cloud to reap rejuvenating breaths that mimic tea leaves or mild-mannered chem. At the base of this shamanistic fragrance, lies a damp and grassy finish. This seemingly neutral companion manages to quell much of the aggression accompanying the raging gaseous glue.
I snap a few nugs in hopes of unleashing Cookie Glue’s dank wrath once again. A blinding gaseous sour gushes out of the gaping wounds, paralyzing my senses with its otherworldly pungency. The sheer magnitude of these fragrances are unlike anything I was prepared for! Sweet, blazing, spears of glue pin me to an invisible wall, I am helplessly pummeled by the glue soaked fists of this aromatic gorilla. Abuse had never felt so good as the ripened claws tear into my palette with every whiff. I nuzzle into the deep satisfaction as each penetrating note shocks my chest. The aroma has now been completely dominated by a gassy glue firestorm. I stand in the path of the precipitation, endlessly pummeled by the acidic sour tang of Cookie Glue.
Sight would suggest that this cross leans into the Cookies phenotype with palpable bias. I credit the Glue parent for some withheld density and an exaggerated ‘popcorn’ effect in the bud structure. Overall, the flowers are built into hyper-dense pointed mounds, lumping together into rotund pyramids. Thin petals barrel over one another until they link into sheets of unbreakable chainmail. Like so many intertwined scales, the golden trichomes shimmer down each broad leaf. The sparkling resin glands imbue their rich sheen unto the pale verdancy below.
Cookie Glue is painted a lively pear and ghostly lime, which at often times blend together seamlessly into a vivid carpet. The color wheel continues to churn often spitting out odd shades of a sun-touched moss and crocodile putty. The dense sea of contrast provides quite the show. Challenging the density of each flower, I’m met with a satisfying crunch and far less resistance than I’d expected. I am soon able to dismantle the fleet of Cookie Glue with ease, whipped at all the while by the scalding stink.
Leaf to flame, I am overwhelmed by the high octane flavor. Someone needs to alert Al Gore to these serious green gasses. My nose feels as if it is about to rupture; aflame with the desire to sneeze. Unfortunately, I’m locked in the pre-sneeze climax. The aromatic pressure builds, my eyes begin to water. Tormented by the obtrusive stream of ripe gas, I find some relief in the form of a earthy muddied citrus.
The culmination emulates steamed green leaves baked into loaves of gritty cornbread. Savory afghan berry leaks out of the core of the loaf. The clapping sticky flatness of the glue boils against the molten core of the profile. I find my tongue has been incinerated by the tithes of pungent flavor. I am sealed into a sickening sarcophagus, burned alive by woodland flames stoking a furnace of raw potpourri. I feel illusory burns form a deep fried crust around my wounded tastebuds.
Blown away by the flavorful assault, my being was left reeling. I manage to shake off the terpene-driven shockwave to find my brain drained and mind wiped clean. In a way, I felt like I was briefly born again. All of my physical conditions washed away in pursuit of forging a completely unhindered new perspective. The metaphor continues into your sinuses; this high instantly dismantles any congestion or headaches. A ley line of subtle vibration channels through my ears. The cleansing aura continues to build and I feel the purest sense of calm bestowed upon my eager heart.
The boons continue to unfold as what I term the ‘cleansing light’ is cast downward, enveloping the rest of my body. The light adds a sense of unassuming weightlessness to my limbs. I have to actually check that they aren’t gradually floating upward. Seconds pass, my entire lower half has been relaxed into a state of non-existence. I feel as if I’m just a torso from the waste up, sitting in a chair. The sensation is every bit as exciting as it is strange. I would suggest that Cookie Glue has a strong chance of aiding anyone who suffers from regular lower back troubles. My lumbar region feels as though it has completely evaporated. My spine is but a smoldering square of butter slipping around on a hot skillet.
Returning to my mental state, I may very well be higher than Paul Bunion. I feel like a slushy machine, churning circularly through my now circus of a mind. I gaze off into space and feel a splendid easy-going nature in my heart. This strain is absolutely perfect for doing nothing while basking in the charming glow of the sun.
Goodness gracious, Cookie Glue was not designed for the faint of heart. I personally was impressed by the quick assertion and permeance of this high. Nor did I expect such a renowned resurgence on the nose when I dismantled the flower. It was almost like the true essence of this strain was packaged twice! The score will accurately reflect my praise towards this strain, but I shall keep my recommendation short. Go get some. Another gift to the masses from the exotic gardens of House of Cultivar. As always, thanks for reading.
Cookie Glue Score: 95/100 points
Stay high and stay blessed,