toasted n’ posted proudly presents…
Sapphire Cookies by House of Cultivar
Sapphire Cookies by House of Cultivar
Welcome back to toasted n’ posted where only the dankest strains get their fames. (I tried, haha) Super stoked on this stoney Saturday to bring these delicious and nutritious Sapphire Cookies before your eyeballs. We will be breaking down every fine fiber in hopes of achieving a modest understanding of what to expect from these genetics as a whole. Enough jibber-jabber, Sapphire Cookies is slightly unclear as to its specific lineage. Fear not, I’ve come upon Sapphire Scout, which I believe to be the same cross with the nomenclature reversed. So for now, I will credit Sapphire Cookies with being a cross of the famous Girl Scout Cookies and a backcross of the mysterious True OG. Either way, I expect a heavily indica-dominant cross smacking the sense out of my mouth. Without further delay, shall we proceed? Here is Sapphire Cookies by House of Cultivar. Coming atcha!
I am transported to a luscious gassy grove of murdered berries. The succulent fruits bleed in weighted silence as the droplets usher in an era of sugary briskness. The pooling confectionary dwells upon the air like a syrupy humidity. I find myself entrapped, becoming cocooned by the dispersed webs of its presence. Mild waves of funk echo from the sylvan scene. The peculiar drizzle builds, balling a foul woody fist. The subtle uprising intermittently mimics spits of a delicate pasteurized cheese. This quality is in no way prominent, but it is a delightful tease I’ve discovered within the finer heights of the dankness.
Beneath me, a satisfying backboard of enchanted flat grass. A meadow that had become so refined and clean that I would pay no mind to chomping on a fistful of that grass. As I stand at the depths of the profile, I feel as if I’m stuffing my mouth full of delectably green field grass. So smooth, clean, and fresh that it appears to entertain a sweetness of its own design. Enough grazing for me, let’s see what is locked away within the vaults of Sapphire Cookies. I snap each safe under my nostril, hoping to inhale its valuable contents.
As I disturb the lumbering sapphire titan, a spicy sour crackle resonates throughout the air. It dawns an afghani tide of perverse sweetness. I am bulldozed over by a hashy funk. The punishing pulp grinds its earthy, heavy, syrupy resilience into every membrane of my nose. Once I had been paved and pummeled by the gooey earthen trailblazer, I am left smoldering with a kick of tangy pepper. Sapphire Cookies to this point, has been a delightful, stern, peppery emphasis laced into a classic afghan profile. I lean into every subsequent whiff and melt. I shudder as I am continuously rolled over by warm, muddy, syrupy boulders. I’ve become enamored with this ripe realm of fragrance. I cannot wait to consume it.
Prepare to step ringside for this dazzling spectacle! Sapphire Cookies shimmer like gemstones even in the faintest light. Bulging boulders of righteous verdancy drenched in creamy white trichomes. I would suspect one could craft a snowman from the kief on a couple nuggets alone! The white resin glands storm every inch of the surface, saturating the underlying leaf with its scintillating aura. The flowers seem to entertain darker hues of green on its flesh, however, the brilliance of the trichomes make every picture pop into vibrant shades non-native to the bud. So despite what the picture show; Sapphire Cookies is largely painted a weighted pear, dusted with patches of vibrant olive and dulled lime. At certain junctures, the green colors are completely dismissed as the crevasse had been completely rolled over by the intrusive crystals.
Weaving gentle structures out from the rigid crust are burning orange stigmas. The hairs carry a soft and fuzzy distortion within their wispy design. The color is glorious, an unfamiliar shade trapped between tangerine and a flaming gold. I feel my skin warmed by the raging flames cast upon these tendrils. Building the metaphor further, the foliage beneath may as well be lumber.
Sapphire Cookies is extremely dense. I guarantee whatever you expect each flower to weigh, it weighs twice that much. I’ve applauded many strains for their density on this site, but this has to be an easy top-10. The steel fortifications that compose this flower offer the slightest retreat as I attempt to break through. After a couple crackles and the slightest give, these petals were going nowhere. This is a two-hand break down for certain, don’t hurt yourself. You may want to stretch before you dismantle these flowers. For such a whole-hearted kush design, I was thoroughly impressed by how large some of these flowers became. Usually the drawback to such profound density are smaller buds, but they broke through the ceiling on this phenotype. I am extremely impressed by every mature and well-developed aspect of this strain thus far.
Leaf to flame, my mouth becomes soaked in a slurry of tender berry spice. A sweet syrup crafted over a mild fruity fire. Further examined, the echo mimics a half-hearted blueberry pestled into a mound of fresh soil. The zesty fruit expands to emblazon an enlivening burn on the backend of the cloud. A disarming hell-raiser. Initially unprepared, my throat is eternally singed by rivers of the hot, tarry, confectionary. The river births a runaway train of rampaging gritty earth. The belligerent behemoth is still tainted by the prolonged whisper of muddled berries.
Clinging to the back of the rushing bolt is the aforementioned flickering sprite of cheesy foulness that teases around the rim of the profile. This uncommon ally leads me to a storm of hops and tea leaves. The whirling herbal winds are driven into madness by a sour rounded musk. My tongue becomes trapped at the heart of a vortex of spicy rainforest. As the storm subsides, the sour matures to entertain grips of a moistened caramel. A pseudo-citrus temptress dwells at the heart of the grand reduction. I may go as far to say this cryptic finish is more amicable than the unwieldy introduction. Though both sensations were palpable and venerable in their own rights.
The high advances slowly, yet purposefully. I feel a visor of shadowy slumber crawl over my eyes. My perspective and literal viewpoint seems dimmed. I learn this transformation to be in efforts of protecting me from anything that may glare a distraction from the power of the encroaching high. By the time the true power of the sensation advances, I feel like I’m sitting in an empty movie theatre. Battling a mild bout of anxious anticipation of what’s to come.
Sloth-like sheets of ice are dragged over my body. Han Solo being cast in carbonite, but in super slow-motion. I could count the nerves as they become temporarily stunned. I follow the invisible tide as it gradually freezes my body into place. I hope I make a cool statue. Discard any paranoia and look inward. My mind echoes with a message of distorted reassurance. I feel as if I’m squinting through blinds while trying to access my natural wellsprings of thought. My mind has become obscured and filtered from my perspective.
My skull feels empty, completely void of thought. Is this what nirvana is meant to be? To be everything and nothing, empty in one’s own mind, unshackled by desire? Maybe I’m just high. But this sensation is genuine and palpable. Prepare to be drowned in a pool of self-reflection as you are isolated into your sense of self. I feel a subtle exhilaration build in my heart as my soul is continuously elevated to randomly nuanced planes. Prepare accordingly for the transcendant journey that Sapphire Cookies will take you on.
I’m a little reluctant to admit, but this is another Cookies strain that is a smash hit. Sapphire Cookies will leave your mind slumped into a corner while you stare at the T.V. I was a little amazed that I was able to complete this entry with any shred of coherency. That being said, well done House of Cultivar. Your ‘cookies’ genetics are freakin’ rockstars! However, Dread Bread is still my personal favorite! Can’t wait to see what else these mad scientist brew out of their facility. As always, thanks for reading!
Sapphire Cookies Score: 95/100 points
Stay high and stay blessed,
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