Lemon Cake by H.O.C.

toasted n’ posted proudly presents…

Lemon Cake by House of Cultivar

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Lemon Cake by House of Cultivar

Welcome back to toasted n’ posted, the domain for dank! Today, we have another tasty strain from House of Cultivar. Continuing our weekend trend of lemon is Lemon Cake by House of Cultivar! This sativa-dominant dessert offers a little speculation as to its genuine lineage. There are two reported crosses: Lemon Skunk bred with Cheese or Lemon OG fused with Jesus OG. Either combination sounds awesome to me, to be honest. I can hardly contain my excitement, let’s steal a slice of this Lemon Cake!

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I unscrew the jar to meet a gust of softened fruity tang. Chasing the tailwind is a light floral kiss coated in citrus exaggeration. Beneath the bodacious breeze is a medley of moist greens and a nullifying herbal stale. I feel as if I’m chomping on a musky meadow, sending its dry, mulchy, grit flying in every direction. I unearth a tentative sweet skunk during my exhilarating expedition. I lap up the luscious culmination, it bears similarities to a foul, decaying, cake icing.


In pursuit of further discoveries, I snap the bud under my nose. I experience a bewildering resurgence of citrus atop a brisk woodland chill. Compounding endlessly, the bolt evolves to a glaive of creamy citrine vanilla. I stagger as I struggle to receive this new contender. Deep in the background, I notice a cough of milky, sweet, cocoa gas. This note is only experienced in glimpses as its only desire is to humbly progress the characteristics of the sylvan citrus. As these mouth-watering worlds collide, I discover the clashing emanates an aura of fruity tang. The aroma’s uprising finishes with crushing blows of fruit punch, glue, and sodden pine.

At any size, Lemon Cake is crafted into beefy boulders of tanned verdancy. Sun-beaten pear, leathery olive, pale crocodile, and yellowed lime weave a vivid tapestry of color. The calyxes edge off into rounded nodes, roiling the sea of competing colors. Cheesy bronze stigmas erupt out from the tumultuous crust. The arms are thin, but born of confident design as their impressive length forms reaching arcs. The tarnished orange hairs are so plentiful that they appear to mummify minute regions of the flower.

Disrupting the flowing, creamy, demeanor of Lemon Cake are ranks of brilliant trichomes. The resin glands stand next to one another at an invisible distance, appearing more like whiskers than trichomes. The psychoactive stalks are imbued with a foggy clarity, some heads capture an off-white milky tone. From the looks and aroma so far, I would imagine this Lemon Cake is the Lemon Skunk x Cheese phenotype.



Leaf to flame, I am skewered by a rocket of steamy, herbal, cream. The space bound vessel spews out an expansive herbal exhaust. The initial taste of Lemon Cake prompts a welcome invitation, though once inside my lungs, it torments me with incendiary sweetness. Through the billowing furnace, I discover a low-hanging blueberry fog atop a moor of muddy grit. Cracking out from the concealing mist is a minty pine whip. I can find no refuge from the aggressive flavors of Lemon Cake. As I am about to lay down in defeat, I discover a savory, citrus, juice dripping on the lips of each exhale. The rich mixture revitalizes my throat and bestows me with the will to keep fighting! As the bowl chars, I find the fruitier notes become empowered as other traits are simmered away. I enjoy the punishing game of hide-n-seek I find within the flavor of Lemon Cake.

Rocked by the volatile flavor, I notice a coat of inspiring cool had enchanted my mind. The soothing sleeve rewards me with refreshing confidence. I feel as if I’d just taken on the  personality of a rockstar. A pulsing massage builds in my temples, easing the merger of my new identity. My new charisma is energetic, flexible, motivated, and an unquestionably optimistic. I will soon see if this is a healthy combination of exaggerated traits.


I gradually learn to make use of these new facets and I nod into a milky meditation. It is strange how the high of Lemon Cake leaves me feeling discombobulated yet attuned with an unknown energy. I glide effortlessly along coasts of molten creativity; sifting through the hot sands of my mind in hopes of finding undiscovered promise.


There are sensory tricks that lie within the fibers of Lemon Cake. For example, I’m experiencing the bizarre sensation that my tongue has become a loaf of bread. It feels spongey, dry, and fluffy. This feeling is distinctly different that cottonmouth. In addition, it feels like my eyeballs are floating in bowls of cereal.

As I become distracted by the awkward allure of my mouth packed with swollen grain, I feel my initial strides of focus become derailed. Now in a mental free-fall, I clutch at any random sentiment in hopes of slowing my descent. Eventually, I crash through a pane of indica incapacitation. An ethereal syrup drenches my body, I become ensnared and immobile. I cling to reality as I feel myself slowly consumed by the sedating vacuum.


I enjoy the vast versatility that is to be explored within lemon varieties of cannabis. Sometimes, I get the impression that a lot of recreational limonene profiles have become synonymously similar in i-502. I applaud companies like House of Cultivar for spinning the profiles on their sides and exploiting the tucked away traits. The high is probably the most notable quality of this production. As always, thanks for reading.


Lemon Cake Total Score: 78/100 points

Stay high and stay blessed,

Kushman Bonglegs


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