toasted n’ posted proudly presents…
Headbanger by Saints
Headbanger by Saints
Welcome back to toasted n’ posted, where we keep the new genetics and good times rolling! This evening, I have for you, the last in our trilogy of Saints reviews. Protect ya neck because what we have here is a strain by the name of Headbanger. Independent of being a name that may scratch an itch for fans of the heavy metal music genre; Headbanger is a serious sativa-dominant hybrid. The potent offspring of Biker Kush and Sour Diesel, Headbanger tests at 17.5% THC. It will be interesting to see what kind of impression a recent crowd favorite like Biker Kush will leave on a pungent classic like Sour Diesel. Let us wait no longer and burn it down!
I unscrew the ornate vessel to greet my rambunctious opponent. I summon a genie on the back of a smoky cool breeze. Boiling over the soothing precursor is a roiling herbal sour hanging from the lip of a musky candy. Caramelizing sucrose simmers atop roasted sandalwood. The aromatic assault proves to be pungently therapeutic. The profile of Headbanger quickly shifts from overpowering to enchanting.
Dry, savory, earth crumbles across an afghani kiss. The note occasionally whips into a vine of chilled, woody smoke. I swear it mimics beef jerky, if only for split seconds at a time. Beneath the illusory smoked meat, is a sodden grassy quality rolled into permeating herbal skunk. The saturated skunky grass combines with the withdrawn sweetness of the afghani-kissed earth to draw me to make yet another connection; this time, to artificial cocoa. Specifically, Tootsie Rolls. The desiccating, smooth, pseudo-cocoa confectionary reluctant to forfeit its gooey taffy temptation. In pursuit of more clues, I crack the cache under my nose. I experience a syrupy wealth of expansive, herbal gas. The exhilarating spike fringes on citrus as it spurns with wild renewed vigor. The metamorphosis leaves me with a bouquet of sticky, herbal, sweetness swaddled in a blanket of smoky forest fruit.
While Headbanger is advertised as nearly three-quarters sativa, you surely wouldn’t guess that from glancing at it. Headbanger proves to be a fortress of vivid color. A bulwark of army green, adorned with constellations of speckled pear stars. Emphasizing the scattered, pale glow of the strained verdancy is the milky maturity of the trichomes. The resin glands stand in tight clusters, often weaving one over another. The volume of trichomes adds a bizarre dimension of color to the flower that is only accessible at certain angles.
Minuscule petals jut out from invisible crevasses, reinforcing the flower both in terms of structure and stark contrast. Broad, sweeping petals compose a majority of the body of the bulging bud. The flower grows into an oblong slab with a rolling and billowing physique. It is like being in the presence of a concrete storm cloud. Ripe with lightning, bulky bolts of yam inspiration churn and coil all over the impenetrable faces of Headbanger. One may mistake this strain for a loom considering the long stretches of undisturbed stigmas spanning the face of this frosted planet.
Leaf to flame, I am thrown into the air by a flavorful gale. The winds are born of a piercing minty green crystallized in a delicate caramelized citrus. Smoldering spicy lemon with a smoky sweet menthol followup. The second act is stunningly sugary, zesty, and tangy. I was actually blown away by how long these delectable traits stayed swirling on my taste buds. Taking the time to appreciate the luscious longevity of every cloud, my maw drips with the enchanting sap of classic OG braced by a round buttery crust. Whips of invigorating pine citrus bear a incendiary herbal tail. The culmination of these notes closely resembles a lemon throat lozenge. The therapeutic, yet bold encroachment of willful flavor.
The flavor of Headbanger continues to blossom. I experience random bursts of vilely floral perfume. I recoil my tongue as it is doused with the insane pungency of pulverized lavender and shocking blueberry. Headbanger proves to be a revolving door of flavor as it continues to demonstrate a mixture of medicinal tea leaves and lemon slushy syrup. I think I’ve fallen in love with the explosive charms of Headbanger. Each cloud is extremely satisfying regardless of what mask it is wearing. Every draw from my pipe is a recurring sucker punch of unparalleled flavor, a welcome gut check.
I was so enamored by the decadent flavor that I almost ignored the subtle assertion of the high. Contrary to what its name may imply, Headbanger approaches with a kind reassuring tingle to let you know it’s coming. In an instant, I realize I’d become marooned in a demented dimension of my own subconscious creation. Without knowing it or willing it, my ideas had begun manifesting in this bizarre filter of reality. As I become enthralled in this beam of laser-like focus, my body becomes consumed by a relaxing feathery cool. My muscles feel they are massaged by a million microscopic hands as my mind helplessly pursues philosophical objects of grandeur. I feel invisible hands grasp my skull with a reassuring grip. As if unseen forces were ‘steadying the hand’ of my thoughts. Sending me along guardrails of coherency, keeping the spontaneous font of inspiration well-oiled.
I feel that an important ‘companion’ to the unraveling high is how I still feel myself being heaved about by the potent flavor. In a way, the provocative profile wrangles me in before Headbanger introduces another metaphysical shockwave to my mind. I intend to describe this high as powerful, not unpleasant. The chorus of sensations are quite manageable and actually inspire me to get organized for the coming day. My inner monologue questions whether or not I will be effective in my planning, but the domineering tide of positivity I’ve become subjected to refuses to entertain such doubts. I am prepared to conquer any horizon so long as I have a fresh bowl of Headbanger in hand!
A couple hits of Headbanger will have you feeling groovy and proactive. A couple more and you may end up trying to construct a ladder to the moon in your front yard. I don’t often reveal my scoring breakdown, but I feel it is important to note that I gave this flower maximum points for flavor. Good God, there is nearly infinite layers of complexity within Headbanger. I just wouldn’t dare bore you with all of them! I knew Saints was good, but when did their lineup get this monstrous?! As always, thanks for reading! I have to take a brief couple day hiatus so I may pass a drug test.
Headbanger Total Score: 92/100 points
Stay high and stay blessed,
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