Green Queen by H.O.C.

toasted n’ posted proudly presents…

Green Queen by House of Cultivar

Screen Shot 2018-05-13 at 4.29.50 PM

Green Queen by House of Cultivar

Welcome back to toasted n’ posted, where we venture where no tastebuds have been before! Today, we have another juicy fruit from House of Cultivar, Green Queen. This immensely sativa-dominant hybrid is a cross of Space Queen and Green Crack. Two full-bodied strains that I’ve grown to know and love, I cannot wait to see what they are capable of together. Onward, to meet the Green Queen!

Screen Shot 2018-05-13 at 4.29.58 PM

I crack open the jar and my nose was smacked hard by a sweet, tangy, pungent, musk. I recoil from the assault; tingled by the bittersweet tart electricity as it surges through my nasal passages. The initial abrasion subsides and I am able to appreciate my newfound position at the eye of the storm. Whirring in the heart on the beastly essence, is a succulent, refreshing, gas. The alluring vapor holds me prisoner with a tender floral expanse, even in the state of a ferocious gas, I feel as if I could sink my teeth into the hardy aroma. I wrap myself in layers of grassy, caramelizing citrus that flings its identity between orange and lemon. In the wake of the serrated citrus, I feel a chilled gust rush past. The unexpected, almost startling, briskness felt like the current chasing a slammed refrigerator door.

Ultimately, Green Queen is a song of soft, sweetness, teetering on a fence above a sea of rapacious pine. Bleeding out from the underbelly of the belligerent pine-citrus muse, is a tentative gas which brings out the molten sugar emphasis. Every prolonged embrace of Green Queen reminds me of a hyper-aggressive lemon cough drop. In hopes of exacerbating the already volatile nature of Green Queen, I tear the biggest bud under my nose. Much to my surprise the mild surge in presence rises uniformly. The only exception to the mutual assurance, is how the subtle gas evolves. The light trickle of herbal gas erupts dispelling a skunky, raw, gooey, version of its citrus compatriot. The signature essence of Green Queen is now plastered to the interior of my nose. I cannot escape the wild gaseous lashes of citrus!

Stern hues of pine, moss, and olive paint the face of Green Queen. A shimmering veil of stampeding trichomes heave themselves over every ridge, sparkling relentlessly. The blanket of scintillating resin bridges the abrupt gaps in color, smoothing every transition out with its immeasurable shine. The flower may appear to of a light disposition from afar, however, this is merely a mask of avalanching trichomes concealing the somber identity of the flower. Long, thin, petals layer onto each other, generating walls of telephone book-inspired density. Layer after layer of thin, crystal-coated petal stack ceaselessly until Green Queen demonstrates a formidable density. The tall walls of Green Queen are composed of fortified bulbs of verdancy carefully concreted together.

While following certain fault lines in the bud structure will lead to a quick dismantling of Green Queen, an outright assault will leave you halted and puzzled by its fortifications. Once I manage to penetrate the frosted castle walls; I notice the friendly, bright, lime interior of the flower. Occasional lines of the kind lime sneak out from the core, providing a subtle highlight to the dark foliage. The campaign of tender colors wavers like the flickering flame of a candle. Wrestling over the masses of milky white trichomes are strands winding hairs. In small clusters, they appear eager to become matted together. The stigmas boast their nacho-cheese color, attempting to misconstrued for minuscule Cheetos.

Leaf to flame, my tongue is prodded my ranks of smokey, pine, spears. I feel as if my carcass was tossed into the middle of a bonfire fueled solely by lemongrass and pine needles. I toil in the simmering gassy syrup, struggling to find my bearings in the crackling citrus spice. Billowing out from the raging lemon flames is a unique smoky quality. The smog is very peppery, green, and minty. The savory concoction resembles beef chili stirred with bug spray, but in the best way. The bouquet proves to be juicy, spicy, and savory. The intense flavor occasionally causes tears to well up in my eyes. I am branded by blistering lashes from the electrified green tea’s skunky tail.

Screen Shot 2018-05-13 at 4.33.31 PMScreen Shot 2018-05-13 at 4.33.18 PMScreen Shot 2018-05-13 at 4.33.06 PMScreen Shot 2018-05-13 at 4.32.58 PMThe high asserts itself quickly, but favors introducing certain traits before the others. I noticed that any of my stomach troubles were instantly relieved. I feel all forms of sensation, good or bad, vacate my body from my torso up to my solar plexus. The void of feeling feels surprisingly natural as if ethereal weights were being lifted from my chest. I begin to feel lighter in my physical form, as if the high is saying “Here, take a load off.” A winding brightness coils in my temples. I feel the realm of my curiosity expand as a fool-hardy grin crawls across my face. I feel as if I must be wearing the gaze of a demented man, but I couldn’t be bothered to care while swaddled in such immense pleasure. I feel a warm glaze creep over my eyes, sealing me into my newfound insanity.

The bubbly lightness in my torso continues to build, frothing over into my limbs. My ligament became flooded with the charming featheriness, until it replaces all of my cumbersome bones and muscle. flooding them with a charming featheriness instead of heavy muscle and bone. With every hit I feel closer to becoming a jellyfish, patiently coasting on the invisible will of deep sea currents.

I remain buoyant even at the depraved depths of my mental abyss, Green Queen leaves you confident to explore even the most distant or desolate regions of your mind. For such a powerful sativa, it is quite calming. My intentions are constantly advancing, but occasionally at unnoticed, innocuous paces. As if I’d just briefly looked away, and when I looked back I would have half of a paper written. I welcome such grievous gaps in time so long as they are paved with productivity. I am ready to work into the night, gleefully whittling away time under the numbing inspiration of Green Queen.

Holy crap, I’m stoned. The high provided by Green Queen is powerful and long-lasting. Green Queen is truly good from the first sip, down to the last drop. You do not want to miss this strain if it is rolling through your neighborhood. It is rare to find an inspiring, inventive sativa that welcomes a challenging body high as well. I gleefully sway and ponder the fate of the universe under the embrace of Green Queen. I can’t wait to see what House of Cultivar cranks out next! As always, thanks for reading.

Green Queen Total Score: 91/100

Stay high and stay blessed,

Kushman Bonglegs

Website Donation – Toasted n’ Posted

If you want to see my work continued or appreciate my style, every bit helps to support my art. I appreciate every donation, I hope you enjoy the review.


Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: