toasted n’ posted proudly presents…
Do-Si-Dos by House of Cultivar
Do-Si-Dos by House of Cultivar
Welcome back to toasted n’ posted where we wrangle in the dankest genetics that Washington has to offer. This evening, we have Do-Si-Dos by House of Cultivar; Do-Si-Dos is the latest in the evolutionary chain of Girl Scout Cookies. This strain is the immensely indica cross of Girl Scout Cookies and Face-Off OG. I’ve just recently been exposed to the blossoming pool of ‘Face’ strains and each has demonstrated a hammering vigor. I can’t wait to see how the legendary Do-Si-Dos stacks up to the explosive hype surrounding both parents. Let’s get cooking!
I nervously unfasten the lid, careful not to let the aroma get ‘the jump’ on me. Despite my best efforts, I am ambushed by a hail of honed gassy citrus daggers. The zesty blades slice me open; each puncture gushing with tangy relief. The profile develops as I am continuously bludgeoned by layers of tenacious sweetness. The nose opens to entertain a sweet, powdery, earthen sugar. The fragile mounds of frothy and creamy dirt are disturbed by haphazard gusts from from the lemon iconoclast. The domineering, gummy, funk is similar to a tray of fresh baked lemon bars, tickled by a mild floral spice.
The delicate confectionary continues to entertain a refined edge that is equal parts grassy and gassy. The refreshing, yet stern boundary bears the consistency of a clean piercing mist. A fragile floor of pungent forest levels out the bouquet into one tapered wave of mesmerizing citrine delight. The willful tides gasp with a dry, crumbling, hashy grit. I receive hints of a faint, yet savory earthen gravy.
In hopes of further inciting the riotous flavors, I crack the mammoth flower wide open. The subdued slurry of earthen sugar becomes enraged and molts into a dry woody curve that conflictingly brands itself a peculiar cheese. The wafting amorphous funk weaves a brisk, herbal, funky vortex around the initial forceful, earthy, citrus bolt. Such a foul and enticing stew could only be described as; a stabbing, foul mound gorgonzola crumbles sitting in a puddle of lemon pledge.
After the bulldozer of foreign funk settles, it frees a stampeding lemon behemoth, an monstrous augmentation of its citrine predecessor. The unregulated citrus arc envelops an aromatic pine finish. The ferociously fresh fragrance is so thick and tangible that I’d wager I could lap it up with my tongue as it invisibly disperses into the air.
Do-Si-Dos is comprised of a seductive camouflage. Powerful pine and crocodile petals are turned on their tails by tides of voracious grape and wine hues. The nexus of self-indulgent color builds into a fortified calyx. While the verdant barricades shift with a soft squish, rarely do they forfeit their position. Each leafy bulwarks grows to an admirable length, constructing wild crystalline towers.
Sneaking out from the cracks between the plates of somber armor are winding hairs. The stigmas are painted a burnt bloody orange. The smokey tendrils are confined to crowded shelves of the rigid crust. Against the unflinching darkness of Do-Si-Dos stands the eerie lime glow produced by unyielding droves of trichomes. The resin glands brandish an off-white milky shimmer and discard any sense of personal boundaries as they stand toe-to-toe with their neighbors. Do-Si-Dos…Toe-to-Toe…you see what I did there? Many stalks carry their heads with a scintillating vigor, casting bolts of their wavering glow across the shadowy sylvan canvas. The interior, however, is naturally quite light; ranging from a tender lime to a bright pear.
Leaf to flame, I am skewered by a stern lance of succulent pine gas. The creeping floral expanse felt like salt stretching into my fresh gaseous wounds. Out from underneath the shelter of the herbal battering ram bleeds a molten tincture. This simmering stew is born of citrus, but had been mutated aggressively along the way. The citrus assassin walks an ambiguous line between orange and lemon. The mutation has grown to encompass sharp foresty quills and a cleaning agent contingency. Underneath the zesty pyrotechnics is a rich heart of kushy architecture. Fists of rich savory forest drag their knuckles against a basin of sugary sand, dispersing the gritty sugar amongst the lofty herbal daggers.
I wrestle with a resonating sharp tingle on the back of my tongue. The herbal qualities occasionally peak to levels of barbarous mint. This strain matches some of the most admirable elements I’d ever encountered within the ever-polarizing kush family. Do-Si-Dos is smitten with blistering complexity. I am charmed by the ferocious, spicy tang accentuated by a gassy razor edge. Bathed in earthy satisfaction, branded with a smoldering afghani finish. This is everything you look for within a quality kush variation and it is in no rush to leave. For moments after smoking, my tongue is still ensnared by electrified tendrils of the pungent kushy zest.
The high advances quickly; it steps in almost immediately as I recoil from the powerful flavor. A insulating fog trickles into my body, then swarms. I feel as if a microwaved icepack is being forced into my skull. My mind lit alive with warm delight. I feel like a Jack-o-Lantern. The abnormal, yet reassuring warmth continues to crowd my vessel. I feel as if all of my organs are being replaced by quilts, being endlessly stitched by legions of loving ethereal grandmothers.
Out from the seductive toasted charm; I feel an exhilaration build in my chest. As if my spirit is being slowly exhumed from my body. My mind wanders just a few feet above where I sit, accessing my thoughts is like carrying a conversation across a room. I’m being stretched between the clouds and my physical form. Better described as a trembling tractor beam, tenderly tugging me upward. My eyes soon fall low and my many ambitions consolidate on the sole desire to melt into a cushioned surface. I am graciously coaxed to submit to the incapacitating power of Do-Si-Dos.
This was truly a powerful performance. I was impressed by nearly every stage of this desirable strain. This is one of my favorite recent improvements upon the Girl Scout Cookies genetics line. This smoke is fantastic down to the last ember, and she ain’t bad to look at either. I highly suggest you get your hands on this explosive production of Do-Si-Dos as soon as possible. Cookies fan or not, you need to try this. As always, thanks for reading!
Do-Si-Dos Total Score: 94/100
Stay high and stay blessed,
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