toasted n’ posted proudly presents…
Cherry Pie Mendo by House of Cultivar
Cherry Pie Mendo by House of Cultivar
Welcome back to toasted n’ posted where we review only the most cutting edge genetics. Today, we have a spectacularly complex strain. Cherry Pie Mendo is an in-house cross of Cherry Pie Kush and Mendo Dawg. Now, this particular cross has become so popular with House of Cultivar that they grow two distinctly different phenotypes. This phenotype we are checking out today is known as the ‘hot girl pheno’. I’m not exactly sure how a ‘hot girl’ will translate into cannabis, but boy, am I eager to find out.
I cautiously unseal the dormant Cherry Pie Mendo. My nose is rocked by a sour, enticing herbal zest. The unique liveliness of the sour funk runs parallel to a reserved, soft, and sugary berry. This afterthought proves to be a salad of spicy cherry and grape, blended together by a hanging woody musk. Out of the sylvan heart spouts a stream of moistened pine gas. The peculiar vapor stirs with the fermented woodland carcass to conjure a skunky demon. The beastly odor brandishes its biting claws of sour earth and rancid breath of somber berry. Every whiff of this demonic domain bares a sharpened tartness. As the sour and peppery notes become exacerbated, they still manage to remain tied to the neutralizing dirty grit of the forest floor.
In hopes of shaking the fiend’s dominance, I shred the largest bud under my nose. A curdled compatriot rushes out to the monster’s aid. Raising its sword, I recognize an amplification in soured herbal berry. The unnatural gas pushes the initially distant berry to new heights. The launch of the foul berry rocket shakes the foundation of the profile. The turbulence shakes loose a spring of pungent gas. The gassy resurgence augments the tentative moist skunk to unfathomable levels. This bizarre metamorphosis results in a sensory storm quite similar to the off-putting attraction of Gorilla Glue. I writhe in the incendiary pleasure of my abrasive, yet sweet subjugation.
While Cherry Pie crosses are commonly blessed with kernels of purple color, this strain is completely green. Cherry Pie Mendo is composed of a salad of polarizing color: playful lime, bright pear, subdued fern, and complimentary basil. While the flower dwells largely on the lighter side of the spectrum, it does not withhold these flowers from exhibiting some stark contrast. Almost interchangeably, the petals step forward brandishing a new hue. The vivid foliage is matted together by a thick resinous crust. It seems that a trail of yellowed trichomes seals every natural crevasse across the face of Cherry Pie Mendo. It is as if the flower was literally composed of different plants, but effortlessly mended together by psychoactive stitches.
The roaring resin glands are about the only things weaving on the face of this bud, there are virtually no stigmas! What few hairs manage to exist on the surface of this flower are quite dark. Occasional muddy red arms will crane out from the frosted crust. The hairs prove to be quite fragile and short, though some sport bulky bases. The bud structure of Cherry Pie Mendo is extremely dense, the only ‘give’ is offered by the dwindling moisture still locked away within the flower. The calyxes certainly aspire to be more than mere popcorns, but not much larger than that. The ambition of these flowers seem to be limited to about 1.5-2 grams a piece, which is impressive considering how profoundly dense the flowers are. Each fortified spire is highlighted by ridge after ridge of resin. Each trichome stands intact, though, their design seems to implement a shorter stalk. The mobbing milky resin seems to bog down its neighbors into a tangled trellis.
Leaf to flame, the earth churns with savory woodland bliss. I chomp off a dry, soft, earthy growth. I gnaw on the candied bark and toss about in a trough of sugary soil. Behind the foresty riptide is a nest of tangy berry. The supple fruit stirs with a moist grass, sealed with a sour semi-citrus quality. The smoldering earth eventually consumes the kernel of candied berry. A cumbersome floral chorus forces a peppery herbal resonance on the exhale. The bright accentuation provided by the herbal quality mimics mint or a menthol tracer upon occasion. As the last traces of Cherry Pie Mendo leave my lungs, I feel a compounding afghan rawness singing my throat.
A jacket of calm slowly wraps itself around my body, I submit to the unwieldy comfort provided by the straightjacket. A subtle vibration hums throughout my limbs, they lie at the ready like idling engines. While the general motif of Cherry Pie Mendo seems to be a quiet night in; there is an uneasiness within my body, a desire to act. Even my jaw is eager to grind my teeth together in misplaced anticipation. Prolonged embrace of Cherry Pie Mendo applies an acute pressure to my head. This isn’t uncomfortable, but I consciously feel a sort-of chrysalis harden in my mind. I wonder what it may birth with a couple more bowls. The uneasy jitteriness eventually subsides and cracks over my joints like an egg, oozing with warm relief.
I feel as if my eyes have had a dirty windshield cast over them, every detail of my surroundings appears to be slightly obscured. I experience a certain looseness with my senses, namely sight and touch. An engaging numbness lines my body, encasing me in my own demented dimension of pleasure. My neck, shoulders, and elbows roll freely, almost uncontrollably. While the advances of the high are almost entirely in the realm of indica; I have to give credit to this strain for keeping me awake and mildly stimulated, even after seven bowls. My head seems to be the only area spared of the pulsing massage of Cherry Pie Mendo.
Cherry Pie Mendo provides a unique bouquet of flavor, well-established in a number of provocative directions. I have to say that I’ve found this ‘hot girl pheno’ to be just my type. I’d suggest that this phenotype leans largely towards the Mendo Dawg, leaving Cherry Pie Kush a narrow avenue to supplement it with subtle gooey berry flavor. Describing this strain was exceptionally difficult, primarily because of how well the terpenes melded together. I would propose this strain to be a perfect reward after a day of work. It is heavy enough to reward your tired body, yet engaging enough to not be the coffin nail in your evening. As always, thanks for reading.
Total Score: 84/100 points
Stay high and stay blessed,
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