toasted n’ posted proudly presents…
Dread Bread by House of Cultivar
Dread Bread by House of Cultivar
Welcome back to toasted n’ posted where we will continue to blaze through the exotic selection offered by House of Cultivar. This evening we have Dread Bread. I was stricken with the bizarre name and I had to know more! I was happy to learn that this strain is the spawn of the famous Colombian Gold and Mangobiche. I can hardly pronounce the second parent, but I was affirmed in my belief that I was in line to experience a tropical delight. Let’s take a trip a bit south of the border on the back of Dread Bread by House of Cultivar.
I proudly unearth the treasure that is Dread Bread. Spewing from the jar is a sweet, enchanting, tropical mist. My surroundings are instantly flooded by the succulent song of Dread Bread. Like the hanging humidity of a rainforest, I soak up the rich bog of buoyant fruit. Dissecting the brew; I detect papaya, pineapple, and a mango delight. The bouquet is attuned to be refreshing, floral, and writhing with a ferocious vigor. Pulsing out of the tender forest haze is a unique citrus-inspired gas. A light, bubbly, tangy zest versus the traditional sharp, herbal or pine variant. There is a slick, syrupy, skunky note creating a delicate, yet sour veil between the two palpable fruity concoctions. Each note drips with freshness, I swim in a succulent bog of tenderized fruit. The pulpy essence of each contributing tree fruit is blended together to create a feisty and sweet reduction. Behind the revitalizing fruity breeze lies a kind grassy quality, a flat green powdered with confectionary. The ‘green’ quality also entertains light hints of benign citrus.
In hopes of exciting the already prominent profile, I plunge my nose into the fresh wound of a cracked bud. A vile grassy lance of sodden skunk launches out from the breach, punishing me for my insolence. The fermented jet is so raw that it almost smells like Elmer’s Glue for a brief moment. With additional carnage the odor rages even further, the magnitude so intense that it causes me to instinctually turn away. The disturbed heart of this strain looses a primal roar of raw, funky, fruity angst. I am fascinated by the powerful, yet natural shift in Dread Bread’s personality once provoked.
As I handle the fruits of Dread Bread, my fingertips are immediately coated in rich sap. I can barely free myself from the tarpit terrain of this flower. The bud exhibits a salad of enchanting greens. The surface is dominated by a hardened mossy hue. Competing under the jacket of moss are pockets of enlivened lime and tender olive. Atop the tossed greens, like grated cheese, is the thick lattice of orange hairs. These stigmas carry a bold, dusty, orange color. The tendrils appear to be spray painted with Cheetos dust. Upon further investigation into the sticky personality of Dread Bread, I note the shimmering sea of trichomes. While it is difficult to locate squads of fully formed glands with heads intact, they do exist in remote pockets. A majority of the trichomes are combed over into a milky web over the fluffy leaf. At first glance, the buds appear to maintain a formidable density. The flowers are structured into pillowy boulders of sprawling leaf and matted cheesy hair. A light squeeze challenges and crumbles the deceiving foliage. These mammoth nugs are stocked like a frail sativa despite the fact that they look like meteors.
Leaf to flame, the mound of leaf forfeits unleashes a tsunami of flavor. A slurry of spiced, skunked, fruit gushes through my lips. Frothing on the back of the rampaging tide is an explosive gassy citrus. The uplifting bouquet bulldozes across all of my tastebuds, optimizing them to receive the tropical chill. The spiced fruit simmers down into an earthen syrup, emboldening so that it attains an acute harshness. The contrast between the pseudo-kushy syrup and what remains of the moist salad of tree fruit stings and tickles my tongue. While my tongue seizures from the inconsistent exotic flavor, I recognize a moist dirt surfacing out of the breath of the citrine gas. Dread Bread proves to be a pungent salad of muddy fruit tossed with an exhilarating gassy spice.
No matter how abrasive or turbulent each cloud gets, the smoke still manages to be smooth in some dimension. As the bowl chars, the delectable ambassadors largely simmer off, but never completely. They always revisit on the exhale of every hit to reassure you of their long-lasting endorsement. The jungle of skunky tropics provides a resilient and refreshing flavor that is communicated consistently throughout the entire bowl.
I feel a firm warmth building behind my temples. My eyes relax and my eyelids draw low. My vision blurs and refocuses; I’m nearly seeing double. Not in the traditional disorienting fashion, but as if my field of vision had actually expanded. To mirror my enhanced perception, my mind accelerates to an impressive, yet calculable pace. I feel as if I’m born to thrive under the blurry enlightenment of Dread Bread. I’m ready to spring-to-action from my seat, but a direction or purpose for this font of energy is proving difficult to assign. It seems that this strain is concerned with making you extremely efficient at doing nothing. I do not feel particularly creative or driven in this instant, just awake and ready to have a good time…just unsure of how. I’m soaring on the back of a wild tangent of energy, but doomed by a blanket of simple-mindedness. While the stimulus overpowers any semblance of a body high, there is still a palpable physical pleasure that bleeds in behind the energizing jolts. The high is long-lasting and amicable considering the powerful wellspring of energy it provides.
Man, am I glad that I listened to my gut and decided to scoop this bizarre strain. The buds are bulky, the aroma is powerful, the flavor is complex, and the high is effective. I have to say that I am an enormous fan of this Dread Bread. I was initially a little concerned because it was a little less ‘frosty’ as some of the other House of Cultivar productions, but this thing breathes with terps. I would certainly pick this up again, because rarely does a sativa have a chance at capturing my heart. I hope to see this Dread Bread sticking around for a while, make sure to get some for yourself! As always, thanks for reading.
Dread Bread Total Score: 92/100
Stay high and stay blessed,
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