toasted n’ posted presents…
Grape Diesel by House of Cultivar
Grape Diesel by House of Cultivar
Welcome back to toasted n’ posted, where we have an enticing strain by the name of Grape Diesel. This flower was produced by the tissue culture masters over at House of Cultivar. The name alone had caught my attention, but to discover that it is also an indica dominant diesel was a pleasant surprise. I love gas and I will always take an indica over a sativa. This might be a blessing in disguise that I wasn’t even aware existed. To form Grape Diesel; Grandaddy Purple bred with Sour Diesel to create a suitable parent to breed with a strain called Cali Grape. This production bares 28.8% THC and 0.06% CBD. Time to gas up with Grape Diesel.
I unwind the cap and leap wholeheartedly into the jar. I am graced by winds of soft, wet, grape. A salad of blunted berry that proves to be floral, sweet, tender, tangy, and aromatic. A mild gassy quality snakes itself around the bouquet. The candied floral berry leans into the sarcophagus of rebounding tang.
The subservient gas carries the somber fruity mood to higher planes where the touch is modified to become dispersed and light. The grape presence becomes exponentially sweeter, the tame gassy compatriot emphasizes the tender, damp, succulence of the berry. It is so refreshing to find a diesel that withholds its desire to domineer over the entire profile.
The the electrified medley of berry molts together to create a powerful slurry that tickles the nose and encourages sneezing. The tart zest resonates through my nose igniting the lingering floral essence like gunpowder. Under the aloof billows of berry, I find a gritty, backboard rich with notes of soil. A fine mulch of woody and earthy notes.
In hopes of shaking loose more flavor, I crack the biggest buds under my nose. Expecting honed daggers of gas, I find the mound of berry cracks open to bleed a kind river of myrcene. The somber kiss is carried by a gas-driven floral expanse. The magnitude of the fragrance is not amplified much by snapping the flower, I suppose Grape Diesel is upfront with its intentions.
The buds of Grape Diesel are magnificent to behold. There is such a rich display of color, I feel that any caliber of description would still not be enough. The purple coloration is the first thing I notice and ultimately what I find hopelessly captivating about this strain. Entire regions of the flower are shaded a confident eggplant hue, occasionally transcending into a reserved violet. The green hues, while not explosively light, seem to be electrified by the immense contrast. The remaining verdancy is painted a pickled pear.
The competing colors war uninterrupted as there are minimal hairs on these flowers. You truly have to scan the face of each bud to discover the stand alone stigmas wandering the glistening surface. The hairs I do discover, are a defeated orange color. The tanned tendrils do not manage to grow long nor are they inspired to stray away from the firm foliage. Grape Diesel builds a large calyx, plump and dense. The nugs are leafy and sprawling, yet fortified in their aspirations by a concrete grip. Due to the quality cure, the flowers are easy to compromise to the sound of an addictive squish. Sparkling against the dark backdrop is the abundance of milky trichomes. While the resin glands aren’t particularly long and many seem to be missing their heads; the sheer volume is impressive and makes each bud shine from a distance. The murky allure of Grape Diesel knows no bounds, it must be witnessed first hand to be truly appreciated.
Leaf to flame, I nurse from a stream of creamy hash. Bubbling out from the brook are cumbersome notes of berry driven spice. The setback foresty quality steps forward in a big way providing a bed of peppery pine wood chips to stoke the kushy flame. A tender gas grease the sides of a myrcene battering ram as it races down my esophagus. The guarded tenacity of the gassy note leans heavily towards pine or an herbal quality. The tenuous grape grasp wanes off quickly, leaving me alone with the formidable spice of the forest and a receding afghani tide. The flavor is smooth throughout, but not explosively rewarding at any point.
I feel a firm pressure surmounting at the center of my forehead, as if my third eye is being pried open. I relax into the powerful physical pleasure pumping through my body as unseen forces attempt to tear open my skull. I find myself neck deep in a muck of euphoric mud, it takes significant effort to displace the demoralizing sludge. As I struggle to regain control of my limbs, my mind feels as if it had been ‘opened.’ My eyelids swing open and just as I was forfeiting my control of my vessel to the indica pirates, I am inspired to pilot my mind once again. A jolt of unwieldy inspiration coaxes me to plan for tomorrow and make the most of the coming day. This manic creativity is somewhat pointless as I still feel my physical form is encased in the syrupy concrete of Grape Diesel. I feel like Han Solo when he was frozen in carbonite; but encased just short of my wrists. Sympathetic to a T-Rex, I struggle to translate my rambling thoughts and emotions into text. Whatever sativa influence you may discover within this strain is short-lived and quickly drowned out by the compounding physical weight. Grape Diesel, a powerful sedative with a misleading moniker!
Grape Diesel was pretty darn good! I have to say that its physical traits are certainly the highlight of the show. Gorgeous to look at, but lacking in terms of aroma and flavor. I appreciate the formidable high accommodating the smoke, however, I felt it was rather one dimensional. Grape Diesel is a tasty blend of subtle terpenes, that delivers a powerful sedative high. While this strain wasn’t one of my favorites from House of Cultivar, it may be worth the buy for the high and appearance alone. As always, thanks for reading.
Grape Diesel Total Score: 78/100
Stay high and stay blessed,
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