toasted n’ posted presents…
ManBearPig OG by Fire Bros.
ManBearPig OG by Fire Bros.
Welcome back to toasted n’ posted! I am so excited to report that this strain heralds in our 100th post! I am impressed with the fact that I was able to commit to this for so long and how my style has grown in the past year or so. I plan on incorporating concentrates into this site once I am confident in my ability to grade them effectively. Enough glorification of an already grown ego. Tonight, we have a hilarious strain named after a famed South Park episode, ManBearPig OG. Fire Bros. procured this flower and this will be the first flower review I’ve done for them. As you can clearly see, this is a cross of Animal Cookies and Legendary OG. This production bares 22.29% total THC and a little scoop of 0.24% CBD. I’ve heard awesome things about Fire Bros. and how they have been kicking butt since the medical days. I can see a shimmer of that medical history in their packaging, this is probably one of the only bags I’ve ever liked for packaging. Let’s get it on with this centennial review!
I gleefully unseal the medical pouch! I sprint fully through the gap like a child bound for the entrance of a familiar Toys R’ Us. I stand still amidst the beast, I find no hard hammer of justice, but a wafting, fruity, bold musk. This note is carried further into my nostrils by a light crisp forest air. A sweet and mild peppercorn is kicked across the woody floor by gentle brushes of such wind. The gust relinquishes into a semi-citrus and kushy veil. The note is alluring, but withholding. I must dig deeper.
I tackle ManBearPig and break one of his largest arms under my nose. The fruity, funky beast struggles to separate itself from an domineering aura of cumbersome afghani. The enraged fragrance thrashes about the rich afghan heritage like a dinosaur yet to accept its fate in a tar pit. This citrus aspect of the note expands at this demise, to become rich, tarnished, and smokey. The resurgence is ultimately lively, sweet, and grounded in rich soil. Gasping with its last breath, this beast heaves forth a tame pine gas that exacerbates the lemon-driven accent.
Prolonging the tar pit analogy, is the profound jacket of resin I am bound to after manhandling ManBearPig. My fingers trickle with rich traces of the sap. I childishly grind my fingertips together against the firm inertia, as if I were trying to play the world’s small violin. My performance was disrupted by the beauty emanating from this trophy bud. A rich yellowed sugar is misted across every available ridge and crest of ManBearPig. Knotted bronzed hairs cascade in clumps down the ornate alleys. Vigor and vivid color define the aesthetic of this flower. I detect at least five shades of green; saturated pickle and basil leaves fall to shelves of electric pear and fern. The transition is so seamless, I have a difficult time marking the differences between each shade.
The bud structure appears to be quite dense, a little foreplay will demonstrate how willing these buds are to roll right off of the stem! The build of the calyx is strong, plump, but carries a sprawling ambition. I can imagine this strain grows into some hammerhead colas. So while the calyx is easy to manage as far as freeing it from the stem, the flowers themselves are actually quite well reinforced. Especially when you consider that every gap is filled with the viscous glue. I must further submit my hands to the adhesive shell of ManBearPig as I struggle to sunder the buds into smaller scraps.
Leaf to flame, I am graced by the wings of a profoundly delicate and sugary angel. I did not expect to encounter such sweetness of this magnitude. The flavor is decadent, buoyant, round, candied, swaddled in a blanket of obscure fruit. A tart, electrified afghan bleeds out of the body of this flavor, it coats my tongue with a vibrating hashy sap. I rarely encounter kush qualities that are so lively. The flavor is playful, stimulated by a light breeze of citrus. This citrine influence marbleizes the layers of gooey earthen hash and refines it to a savory syrup. I carry a sense of genuine amusement as I continue to explore the subtler qualities within the smoke. A pine mammoth is revived by the tumultuous wind; it charges forward wracking raw herbal branches, stirring a wake of enticing gas. Halfway through the bowl, as the charred resin soaks into the remaining leaf, the identity shifts to a harsher plane. The delicate citrus, fruity, and gassy qualities die off in pursuit of a strong afghan identity. A tame sweetness is maintained to curve out the vicious ambition, but the smoke becomes significantly more difficult to handle. I welcome the challenge, answering every rioting bite until the bowl is finished. Time for another!
The high cracks over your head like a monstrous ostrich egg. I feel immense pleasure rushing down my sides, my mind dripping with relief. A swarming delectation overtakes my thought, driving out all negativity, anxiety, but also all ambition and desire. I sit silent, motionless, in an empty box of formerly thriving with drive and angst. I focus on what I feel, an stimulus tickles through my veins, eventually building a charge at my fingertips. My typically achey wrists feel exceptionally relaxed and flexible, but I don’t dare push my luck. I haven’t eaten in quite some time and my resentful stomach calms. ManBearPig is here to make sure you aren’t burdened with a care in the world. When I thought the complexities of the high were just about wrapped up, it hit me like a hulk hand from heaven. A potent mental spike triggers a rush of new thought. I feel energized, renewed from my temporary dormancy in the introduction. My senses, emotions, and sinuses are blessed with divine clarity and I am eager to take on my chores and kick their ass. While ManBearPig OG is ideal for a level-headed kickback, you can count on ManBearPig to motivate you when the time is right. Just like in South Park.
Man, I was do determined to not enjoy another Animal Cookies cross, but you proved me to be a fool. I would’ve avoided this amazing production that brings out the best from both parents and gives birth to a few more signature characteristics. From the physical traits to the flavor, each aspect is something to be savored. Be sure to get some ManBearPig OG from Dockside Cannabis while it is still in store! As always, thanks for reading!
ManBearPig OG Total Score: 91/100
Stay high and stay blessed,
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