toasted n’ posted presents…
Purps 1 by Green Mountain Valley
Purps 1 by Green Mountain Valley
Welcome back to toasted n’ posted where we review all cannabis of quality. Today, we have an extremely solid value provided by Green Mountain Valley. This stunning eighth is available at Dockside SoDo for only $20.00 an eighth! Some great looking outdoor. I’m familiar with Purps often being a nickname for Mendocino Purps, but I am a little unsure of what Purps 1 is exactly. I’m going to walk away assuming it is the lovechild of a North American Indica just as is Mendo Purps. This particular production bares 14.37% total cannabinoids, 16% THCA, and 0.050% CBD. Relatively low percentages, but I’m a flavor chaser and not some nerd who abides by numbers. Let’s see how Green Mountain Valley does Purps 1 justice.
I carelessly embrace this production as I plunge into the unsealed bag. I am struck right in the nose by the knuckles of bitter grapes. I am enchanted by the enticing ripe bite. The initial impression resonates with me in the exact same way as those vile grape lollipops for the doctor’s office. Artificially pungent and sour, wrought with the identity of a stale candied cough syrup. I assure you, this interpretation is a surefire improvement from the ageless lollipop abomination. I ride the waves of sweet, gooey, berry tar. There is a firm skunked foresty fist lingering in the background. When it will make its true strength known, is something I unsettlingly await.
A damp freshness hangs like a curtain over the bubbly berry battleground. Intending to make the first move, I sever the sticky bud under my nostril. A tangy, bold javelin of grape is hoisted into my brain. Impaled by the aroma, I am rendered helpless to the supplementary surges. A bright, aromatic boarding party raids my sinuses detonating a series of blistering berry explosives.
Purps 1 seems to hold true to indica influence. The flowers are predominately dense clumps of popcorn with a few buds that bother to stretch further. The bud is quite dense and you will find ample resistance no matter how hard you attempt to impress your will upon it. A strategic snap is the only way to surpass the sugary armor of Purps 1. Defying its moniker, this flower demonstrates little to no purple color. Any experienced cannasseur knows that ‘purple’ flavor is not always provided by a matching hue. This strain balances a salad of lively greens. A playful lime, a stern pear, and some golden hues stir across the face of Purps 1. Dancing across the spectrum is a peppering of trichomes, they reflect a light golden color like a milky mirror. Minuscule orange hairs tickle out from the crust of this verdant planet. It appears as if the flower had just shaved a couple days ago. The tangerine stubble provides a welcome compliment to the lively greens.
Leaf to flame, I meet a chalky, smokey, skunked hand. The greeting relinquishes into a peppery berry tainted with an impression of Afghani. A savory sweet tincture drips from my maw, the peppery accent shocks me awake. I toss and turn, relishing the sweet slurry stirring on my pallet. For how prevalent the grape or ‘berry’ notes were in the aroma, I am truly impressed by their utter absence in the flavor. Purps 1 appears to be dominated by a raw, peppery, afghan with only the slightest accent of the syrupy skunked berry. As the bowl chars, the smoke becomes progressively herbal and foresty in its narrative. A satisfying hashy burn compounds in the back of my throat as it is simultaneously sated by the herbal salve. I happily dwell within this tossing tide as I await the next trickle of skunky berry.
It does not take long for Purps 1 to take hold. For a strain with a modest THC percentage, it asserts itself strongly. I hold the hefty cloud in my lungs, awaiting the first tell. Dropping all at once, I feel the sedative weight of Purps 1 crash down upon my shoulders. An unwieldy pleasure drips down my spine and into my lower back. I feel a magnitude of ‘icy-hot’ working its magic on my minor aches. As I lower my guard in response to the assertive euphoria, it sneaks up into my head. I feel my eyelids drop dramatically like the closing curtain at a Broadway performance. A belligerent inspiration takes hold of my mind, delivering brilliantly simple solutions to my everyday problems. I feel to be a handyman in every sense of existence, I am prepared to tackle and dismantle any challenge that dare step before me. This sensation may be dangerous in the hands of the wrong person. But if you are sound of mind, feel free to scream “MERICA” and charge wholeheartedly into your day. I appreciate the foreign wavelength of stimulation in compliment to the physically distracting aspect of the high.
While this was one of my shorter reviews, I do not believe that it says any less. This particular strain was direct with its profile and intentions. I appreciate a producer that is able to isolate and promote the desirable characteristics within their flower at a whim. Providing some of the prettiest and most pungent outdoor flower that I had the good fortune to encounter, I have to say Green Mountain Valley is providing a quality service. Get some today at Dockside Cannabis SoDo!
Purps 1 Total Score: 80/100
Stay high and stay blessed,
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