toasted n’ posted presents…
DJ Short Blueberry by Green Mountain Valley
DJ Short Blueberry by Green Mountain Valley
Welcome back to toasted n’ posted where we don’t simply peruse the top shelf, but seek out all quality flower of value. While surfing the selection over at Dockside SoDo, their budtender Matt recommended trying out this righteous outdoor farm. I was handed a few eighths of Green Mountain Valley and was impressed by the clean quality and careful processing of the bud. I scoffed, “this is outdoor?” I was shellshocked when he mentioned that each eighth was only twenty dollars. I was truly intrigued and sold. I’m usually hesitant, if not wrought with anxiety, when trying the ‘big name strains.’ Strains such as DJ Short Blueberry have been bastardized and imitated to senseless extents. I was assured that these genetics came straight from Northcoast and many consumers hold them in high regard. What is the fun in the vast recreational market if you do not try new things? I figured now to be a good time as any to get DJ Short Blueberry on the books here at toasted n’ posted.
DJ Short Blueberry bares similar historical magnitude to Jack Herer. This is a strain that has been sought out and respected by the community, as a whole, for a long time. DJ Short Blueberry is written off as a whole-hearted indica, but is actually a hybrid of three different strains. The parent that typically dominates the DSB strain is Afghani, of indica descent. Then this renowned indica is crossed with the extremely delicious Purple Thai and one more spicy sativa Thai strain. In total that is a ratio of 1 indica to 2 sativa parents, so how is the offspring so widely considered a purebred indica? If you ask me, I think it speaks to the sheer potency and dominance that accompanies splicing Afghani into a genetic stew. This particular production is a little on the modest side of THCA with only 19%. Many cannasseurs don’t seek much higher than that, hoping the gap is bridged by profound layers of terpy goodness. Lurking in the background is just one half of a percent of CBD. Let’s get it on.
It’s been a while since I’ve encountered some quality outdoor so I opened the pouch rather lackadaisically. Never underestimate your opponent, a torrential storm rages behind this ziplock barrier. After a brief prayer, I dive in nose-first. I am knocked by a battering sidewind of fierce skunk-driven berry. I feel as if I was marooned in a muck of fermenting blueberry preserves. The odor is corpulent, almost gelatinous in its bloated assertion and blubbery confidence. I am toppled by an avalanche of rancid sour candy. I am plucked from the fallout by an engaging piney sting, An exhilarating herbal breath once again bestows me with the gift of life. The riff of my new existence is smooth and touched with the palatable flat smack of damp wood. It isn’t long before the feisty nature of DSB lashes me upside the head again. Wild tails of sour skunk whip in the wake of the berry bulldozer.
I cannot keep running, I must turn and fight. With a belligerent holler, I plant my foot and charge backward into the monstrous aroma. I thrash and tear through the foliage in hopes of finding an exploitable weakness. The Blueberry Behemoth proves to be well-fortified in its presence. It was a trap, a self-righteous surge in the skunky and blueberry qualities lead to an aura that is truly ‘funky.’ The fermented skunky woodland quality continues to build exponentially, I acknowledge my helplessness as my fingertips are encased in guilty jackets of resin. The snowballing aroma smells like Skunk Cabbage stirred with a bouquet of fresh forest berry. The skunky savage continues to muster more strength, eventually overcoming and outlasting all of the other competing fragrances.
Green Mountain Valley may be setting a new standard for affordable outdoor, I am not conditioned to expect outdoor bud that looks this clean. I’m halfway convinced you could sell this to people as hydroponic and they wouldn’t have the mind to argue with you! This phenotype of DJ Short Blueberry certainly falls in line with legend; stout cones displaying an array of forested color. DSB may be going through an ’emo phase’ because this flower only seems to care for dark and somber color. While there is some sense of transition and shift about the color from leaf to leaf, the jacket is a slightly discernible stitching of pickle, moss, and crocodile. The only contrast provided to this camouflaged cannabis are the hairs and amber glow of the trichomes.
In defiance of the overlording, gloomy verdancy, light tangerine hairs scramble across the surface of the bud. I’m sad to report that many of the hairs seem to have been ‘squished’ into the surface of the flower. Of the hairs left in their natural state, they have a unique build of fragile broadness. Some of the tendrils appear to take after a dog’s tongue. While the general exterior of this flower is squished to some extent, there are still many groves of trichomes that show off their milky white color and snugly attached heads. DSB doesn’t seem intent on giving away any secrets past what is visible outside of its frosted fortifications. I squeeze and pinch the bud and acknowledge the strong indica dominance in the bud structure. A twist from the right angle; the well-cured bud plucks freely from the stem, ready for your enjoyment.
Leaf to flame, a firm foresty hand is extended toward me. I receive the bewildering, flat, bulky abrasiveness of this note. As this flavor relents, the sweet blueberry trickles out from behind the receding bulwark. This form of blueberry is perverted by herbal qualities and a skunky anchor. The finish of each breath is sour, zesty, and skunky. The culmination of these competing tastes results in a spicy, rich, skunky, sweet sauce. The flavor feels to be born of a fluid state, a malleable flavor that you can carelessly toss about your pallet and enjoy. It isn’t long before these playful qualities tire and a hidden identity emerges. As the bowl chars, only a faint sweetness survives. The remainder of the cloud is trained to speak only of fiery kushy qualities. I feel as if I am being slugged in the face by fragrant tree stumps, each hit has evolved to a whopping blow. This feels like round nine and DJ Short Blueberry is going for the knockout combination. I barely finish the bowl consciously, I am staggering back and forth, body and mind out of kilter. The ferocious blows cease and I am slowly able to shake the last of the brain charring hashiness off of my tongue. I survived my first encounter, do I have the courage to welcome the assault of another green bowl?
My mind seems to slowly fold into itself as if it was getting tucked into bed. As my active conscious continues to recede, I feel my head to be nothing more than a stack of pancakes atop a neck. DJ Short Blueberry is a decadent, rich syrup that gives me new flavor. My head becomes drenched in the profound comfort offered by DSB. I feel a mild vibration between my eyes and a drive encouraging me to engage the world through whatever means. I feel ‘activated’ and ambitious despite the cumbersome sludge gradually flooding my legs. I best discover how I am going to save the world before I am turned to stone. Afghani certainly dominates most, if not all, of the aspects of this flower. This experience seems true to the books. While my wind of inspiration eventually peters out, I find myself left with a calm disposition and a creative initiative. Embrace the waves of crashing calm as you indulge in your artistic and social desires.
Green Mountain Valley, I must say this is some damn good outdoor! Certainly worth the money and the terpenes delivered were solid. I appreciate the competitive price point, but you should either give your bud a little more room in the bag or switch to jars. Nobody likes mangled leaves and trichomes. That being said, I still really enjoyed this production emblematic of a strain that had been occasionally thought to be diluted to the point of extinction. I’d say these genetics hold quite true to what DJ Short designed. There are many qualities to appreciate in this flower. Get some for yourself at Dockside Cannabis!
DJ Short Blueberry Total Score: 86/100
Stay high and stay blessed,
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