toasted n’ posted presents…
Lemon Haze x Sour Diesel
Lemon Haze x Sour Diesel
Whatsup weirdos, welcome back to toasted n’ posted! Every once in a while, I like to snag some top shelf from the ‘old marketplace’ and see how it stacks up to recreational bud. Today we have a fairly straight forward strain, simply named after the cross. We have Lemon Haze and Sour Diesel, two very pungent strains with their own identities. I can only muse at the righteous riptide that will tear me apart. We don’t have any data as far as THC %, but numbers are often deceiving anyhow. Let’s just admire this gorgeous girl for what she is, a full-bodied dank-ass woman. Let’s dive into Lemon Haze x Sour Diesel. (I will now abbreviate as LHSD)
As my trembling hands manage to unscrew the glass jar, I brace myself in anticipation of the storm. I wander into a sodden jungle, scared and alone. I stumble into a bizarre jungle plant unlike anything seen before. It rockets a violent jet of its alien pollen into my senses. I am tossed backward by a whirlwind of sweet, sour, skunked citrus. Once the abrasive introduction settles, I find the stew to be light and soothing. I find peace and residence in the refreshing and enlivening ‘hot mist’ that fills the air. I feel the awkward storm aiding my lung capacity, opening me up, encouraging me to draw in more and more of its aromatic medicinal breath. It shares the soothing magnitude of a menthol spray or aloe gel. I feel to be judged, assessed, and healed by this foreign brew of terpenes. Brisk damp forest borders sharp fields of lemongrass and herb. Tingling spikes resonate in my nostrils long after each bodacious inhalation.
I must know if I can provoke this exotic blend of flavors further, I press and tear the sticky bud under my nose. An accentuation of gassy and sweet qualities outperform and somewhat overshadow the initial citrus presence. The sweet semi-citrus gas tossed with riveting herbal spikes entertains me to no end.
At first glance, the nug looks to be firm, leafy, and corpulent. The structure of bud encourages me to believe that there is an inclination of at least 70% sativa dominance, but I am hesitant to place it at such when eyeing the modest bulkiness of LHSD. This strain surely grows with vigor and purpose forming plump, filled out flowers. But is this bud actually as dense as it looks? I could just be momentarily deceived by the charms of having a trophy nug in excess of three grams!
A light squeeze proves this apparently semi-dense phenotype to be less than it puts on. The leafy fortifications give with relative ease as it gushes forth its sweet sticky sap unto my fingertips. I can barely navigate my hands across my keyboard without a haphazard tar pit dwelling on each surface. Wild nests of pale tangerine hairs lattice across the narrow valleys and gaps in the ornate flesh of LHSD. Trickling down the delicate tanned tendrils are resplendent trails of resin. Globulous milky heads sit perfectly perched upon nearly every stalk, legions of lanterns sampling an ample glow. Below the beacons and constellations is a rich salad of color. Firm mossy tones give way to soft pear and fields of rich meadow green. Certain pockets of verdancy are electrified to mimic lime or a chartreuse. A swirling nexus of color graces the face of this foliage. Ultimately my eyes are prisoner to the sparkling trichomes misted across every available face of LHSD.
Leaf to flame, a fragile veil is cast over my pallet. The fabric of the light, rippling flavor slowly beat a slurry of sweet citrus and candied grass past my lips. A spiced, rigid gas bursts outward from the soft citrine jacket. A million tickling diesel bearings launch outward from the auspicious bog. I find glorious annihilation at the core of this blistering sweet fragrance. Each microscopic meteor has been honed into a ninja star with several keen points. Each exotic fruity slice into my senses is mended by a sweet forest-bound syrup. The palatable puss oozing from these pungent wounds stirs with the initial musk to provide a bouquet of flavor that is both savory and sweet. As I become more familiar with the jutting attitude of LHSD, I campaign to welcome more and more of it into my lungs. The compounding levels of the taste molt in complex ways; the benign gas stirs with the sour candied winds to deliver a snowball effect. This building boulder of bodacious flavor climaxes into a rampaging sphere of Italian Ice, spliced with lemon and a trace of vanilla. As the bowl chars, some of the more delicate qualities simmer off of the profile and I find myself marooned in a spicy, lively, moist jungle. A satisfying hashy venom coats the exhale, it appears that a beast lurks in this decadent dilemma.
The approach of the high is calm and amicable, however, its potential and ambition are far-reaching. I feel a sly euphoria trickle into my skull and ooze down my spine. A sedative pleasure unlocks a wellspring of energy from my chest up. I feel awakened and energized; to an uncomfortable extent at times. I surge alongside the impulses of my new battery, I may discard my heart altogether and be powered solely off of LHSD. An exhilarating congestion swarms my sinuses, I ricochet wildly around my clouded senses. Each fine sensory fiber seems to have molted into a firm, cushioned cartilage. My self-contained free forming section of coral reef coaxes its innocuous embrace through every inch of my face. This sensation continues to encroach itself upon you the longer you smoke. Enough bowls of LHSD may leave you sundered to a pseudo-paralysis, grasped by Medusa’s gaze, truly stoned. LHSD inspires drive, creativity, empathy, and at its deepest core, the desire to get up and move around. I can imagine this sensation conflicting violently with a perceived couch lock. Otherwise, a bowl or two of this strain is like shotgunning a Redbull. Fly through your days on the strong shoulders of LHSD.
Wow-za this is one of the most turbulent and powerful sativa-dominant strains that I have ever encountered! If all sativas bore as much grit as Lemon Haze x Sour Diesel, I would entertain the particular sect far more often. I appreciated the fluffy, yet firm bud structure. I danced with the succulent aromas that translated fully and naturally into the smoke. The high was balanced but provided avenues to higher planes of existence. There are many reasons to fall in love with LHSD and its palpable embrace. Discover your reason for yourself! As always, thanks for reading.
L. Haze x S. Diesel Total Score: 97/100
Stay high and stay blessed,
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