toasted n’ posted proudly presents…
9 Lb Hammer by Bubba
9 lb Hammer by Bubba
Welcome back to toasted n’ posted! This evening will be appraising another gift from our friend Bubba. His legendary cannabis continues to exceed expectations with productions like his 9 lb Hammer. Waiting to smoke this was absolutely miserable, so I am anxious to get into it! Before the fun, the facts. 9 lb Hammer is the serious indica lovechild of Gooberry, Jack the Ripper, and Hell’s OG. A lot of directions going on there, some afghani sedation, a spicy bit of Jack, and whatever the hell Hell has to offer. Let’s burn it down and remember why folks like Bubba will never go out of style.
It is so aromatic, I am ecstatic! I fall into a realm of a raw dank woodland. This forceful musk is accentuated into a fiery, tantalizing, floral spice. I stagger backward and trip into a field of softened berry. This dampened, brisk, grassy patch provides divine comfort in its thick lively meadowy presence. This newly forged world lets out a song of foul sweetness. My pallet finds residence in a mound of berry soaked wood chips that coast upon a subdued herbal wake.
I must learn the secrets of this fantastic 9 lb Hammer! I sunder the decorated flesh to find not an increase in the dank afghani foulness, but a feathery, refreshing, and enlightening take. I feel physically lighter as I ascend into the terpene scattered skies on the back of this revived raven. Unearthly floral gas leaks into my nostrils in my newfound atmosphere. I submit myself as a willing prisoner to the battery of sweet berry and puckering gas. I rock gleefully in the eye of the storm, sadistically snapping more of the succulent flower anytime the candied storm dare subside. Eventually the winds peter out and mellow out into a cool and even breeze. The breath evolves to a presence that is once again, soothing and refreshing. That being said, my sinuses are still throbbing, pulverized from the aggressive foreplay. I jinxed it, as I typed that last sentence I was driven to sneeze my brains out despite my best efforts. I feel wonderfully clear-headed now, I can now effectively appreciate her beauty.
I carefully approach the crystalline fortress before me. The walls of this fortified empire boasts a range a vibrant color. The decadent hues are dominated by a highlighted mossy hue but drifts into a regions of sangria and raisin. The eerie transcendent green glistens with a ghostly aura as it is reflected in the raging sea of trichomes that tosses across the face of this flower. The golden network of trichomes stands out as a brilliant constellation upon a somber meteor. The density demonstrated in this phenotype seems to carry to the trichomes as well. They seem to be well matured, but it is hard to clearly see the heads, not to say they are not there. The trichomes seem to be blasted to the foliage, like a helpless dinosaur thrashing in a resin tar pit. The flower is still very fresh despite the fact that it took me a little bit to get around to it. The foliage is extremely sticky, so be prepared to wear gloves or wash your hands. You will be a half-hearted Spiderman for half an hour after handling this resin drenched 9 lb Hammer. With a lot of strong indica, you seem to sacrifice the larger bud structures for supreme density. A worthwhile trade, but it seems that there is no call for a sacrifice within this alien production of 9 lb Hammer! These buds are well secured into their positions, firmly adhered to the sticky stem, but still ambitious and plump in their growth patterns. The explosive vigor of 9 lb Hammer is apparent as it aggressively boulders sparking clusters of flower one atop the other.
Leaf to flame, a battering ram of emboldened skunky berry thrashes across my tongue on a warpath to my lungs. The powerful pillaging leads to its savory leftovers being scattered across my pallet, the razing notes simmer into my flesh. The sensation is lively and awakening, I enjoy the peppery fierce engagement initially entertained by this production. A light grape, gassy, sour cloud looms in the far distance, only casting occasionally casting down shards of its essence. A gaseous flowery lance launches into my face, I can muster little resistance to this assault in the aftermath of the berry siege. I am helplessly skewered on the tip of this sharp, pungent, and ultimately savory spear. As I am cast about aimlessly in each rampaging cloud, the flower seems to develop a level of remorse. It begins to hold its punches and soothe my wounds with a song of candied fruit. The anthem crescendos to therapeutic levels when touched by the spicy floral tones. All of the abuse was worth discovering even a brief moment of this succulent serenity. This safe haven of flavor is surely rooted in the origins of the Gooberry and quite possibly the Hells OG. As the bowl continues to char, not even this enchanting faerie song can withhold the power of the riotous resin. The figurative veil cracks, ferocious searing soot pours in and mutilates my wonderland to a peppery, hashy hell. This strain is certainly designed for the kushy fiery thrill seeker. I struggle not to cough with every successive hit. As the plant matter cinders; in the lining of this monster’s claws, are traces of my sweet berry allies. Only shreds of my fallen friends drip from the blackened breath of 9 lb Hammer.
9 lb Hammer comes upon you like a lumbering tsunami wave made of quicksand. You could try to outrun its gargantuan grasp, but I welcome a good thrashing. My limbs are flooded with the metaphysical sand and a profound weight asserts itself upon me. Both physically and mentally I am drug down to a sluggish pace. This isn’t unpleasant, it is bizarrely relaxing. Blissful in my new ring of limitations, I slouch back and let the comfort coarse through my spine. A spiked massage works through my shoulders and sends jolting shivers down my back. This sensation is nearly purely physical, leaving your state of mind untouched barring a little casualness introduced into your pace of thought. 9 lb Hammer encourages you to take the time to smell the roses, and perhaps just lie down and take a nap in the dirt next to them. I feel if you pursue heightened levels of 9 lb Hammer you could find yourself snuggled into a self-induced coma that could endure an 8 hour car trip with a touring heavy metal band. Thrash yourself into a realm of pleasure and ecstasy reserved in the simple, but potent and palpable touch of 9 lb Hammer.
God damn Bubba, you are too kind. These kind buds outdo most top shelf recreational growers, you should be proud. What you take the time to do is an art that is under appreciated. I’m not too familiar with 9 lb Hammer, but I can’t imagine that this is anything short of a penultimate example of its properly exercised phenotype and potential. This strain speaks in the languages of classic kush, rebellious resin, and stout structure. Witness the brilliant dialogue for yourself sometime and ask for some 9 lb Hammer at your local dispensary! I enjoyed this strain so much, it touched all of the bases marvelously! I cannot wait to round this pair off with your crystal coated Cookies n’ Cream, until next time. Thanks for reading.
9 lb Hammer Total Score: 97/100
Stay high and stay blessed,
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