Wedding Cake by Exotikz

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Wedding Cake by The Exotikz

Wedding Cake by The Exotikz

Welcome back to toasted n’ posted! I apologize for the gap in the posts, I was sick for a week then was busy with the holidays. I’ll make it up to you by hammering you with reviews this coming week. In hopes of making up for lost time, I picked up some of the very popular Exotikz. I’ve been led to believe they are the originators of Wedding Cake and I am anxious to see if these California natives are more than just hype. If you are charging $55.00 dollars an eighth, you better be providing a near-religious experience. Wedding Cake is alleged to be a cross between Girl Scout Cookies and Cherry Pie, two very potable strains. I am perplexed to find that some sources insist this is the same thing as ‘Pink Cookies’, but I’ve had both and I can tell you Wedding Cake typically surpasses Pink Cookies in every instance. I do not invite the comparison. This particular production boasts 24.30% THC with just a touch of 0.07% CBD. I immediately moved this to the front of the queue considering the recent harvest date of 09/05/17. It will be interesting if they have been completing a quality cure and meeting the growing demand for their flower in the community. Let’s burn it down and find out.

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So this is it, the legendary showdown between myself and The Exotikz. I hear a bird screech as a rogue tumbleweed rolls across the dusted town center. My hands wriggle in anticipation above my holsters as I wait for Wedding Cake to make the first move. I tear open the pouch to be met by a rain of soft sweet daggers. I flee and seek cover, I find some in an underlying marshmallowy buoyancy that runs parallel to the airborne hellfire. A light, spicy, flowery essence is drizzled atop both of these notes granting them some cohesion and uniformity. Underneath the war-torn wasteland I discover a resilient semi-skunk foresty musk. This taste is graced by a light trace of sugary citrus. Almost as if the strain was a signature cocktail at a pretentious bar, this note is the equivalent to the delicate line of salt trailing the rim of your glass. A dampening kushy aura hangs suspended around the bud itself. An aromatic bubble that wards off any who aren’t daring enough or worthy of further pursuing these decadent terpenes.

To further incite the beast, I sunder the flower. There is initially a mild surge in the looming kushy omniscience as I continue to tear apart the bud underneath my nostril. The real sleeper cell is a compounding, but initially subdued earthen spear. As the note gathers momentum, it tears through the crust and sheds a profound earthy candy kiss. Breaking into these boulders incite songs of Durban Poison to ring out from both parents! The Durban Poison influence becomes very prevalent when you start rending the flesh of this fragrant foliage.

I would suggest that this phenotype heavily leans towards Girl Scout Cookies, which would make sense considering Berner is involved and he is all about Cookies. Before I morn the loss of the Cherry Pie influence, I must commend them on how fantastic these buds look. This is exactly what classic Girl Scout Cookies bud structure should look like! While it does forfeit some of the unrelenting density found in Cherry Pie, it is quite refreshing to see a quality production of Cookies amidst a sea of shit and imitations. Reinforced, plump, and lumpy are some of the first thoughts that enter my mind. The nugs look a little leafy, but they fight for every inch if you dare give it a squeeze. On matters of structure alone, the strain suggests at least 70% indica dominance.

The color of Wedding Cake is quite peculiar and difficult to photograph effectively. For the most part, Wedding Cake dawns the ghastly green that is so fragile and amicable that it often bends to match white or yellow hues. Hopelessly lost in the chromatic limbo, a radioactive pear wavers into a disheartened olive. If you are very thorough you may discover the occasional rogue wine sugar leaf or trace of mauve cast through the flower. Perhaps the ghostly aura is provided solely by the immense volume of trichomes that grace the surface of this flower.  To almost emulate the presence of powder mildew, a blizzard of fully developed resin glands storm the surface of these buds. A blinding constellation provides perfect cover for the benign tanned tendrils to snake out from various cracks of this celestial body. The stigmas are born of different direction than the other surefooted characteristics of this strain. Contrary to the considerable bulk that enhances just about every aspect of this flower, the hairs are delicate and thin. As I turn the bud between my fingertips a dusting of kief is cast upon my fingers, a keepsake of sorts. I’m not one for wasting trichomes, let’s burn down this disco inferno!

Leaf to flame, a thick billowing cloud of tart sugar. As the surmounting sucrose is continually spooned unto my pallet and tingling almost sneeze-encouraging sour creeps up the back of your throat into your sinuses. It takes all of my strength to maintain composure and not sneeze or cough during this initial introduction. The seismic sinus effect fades with time, but may be revived with another decadent cloud. A disenfranchised presence of lemon rides the back of the energizing, nearly pine bolts that explode from the booming sweet fortress. This half-hearted lemon is eventually drowned out by the building kushy dominance seeking to overthrow every aspect of this bud before the bowl’s end. The wildly expanding floral kushy quality molts the limonene imposter to more closely mimic the berry myrcene kiss encouraged by the Cherry Pie heritage. As in the aroma, the bowl chars and the dormant Durban qualities emerge. The puckering sour earth stirs miraculously with the expanding kushy swamp. There is a weight and thickness to the smoke that is extremely satisfying, each hit is like a bite of your favorite snack. The smoke, in my experience at least, is literally filling! Who’d have ever thought that Wedding Cake would ever be a suggestion for a potential dietary supplement!? While the flavor has many competing levels and notes, whatever form that Wedding Cake decides to dawn that day, will be of consistent quality throughout the bowl. Up until the most charred hits, my sinuses are still waging a war they do not seem intent on winning.

The high starts where I found the most intensity during the smoke, behind the bridge of my nose. A profound, but pinpointed euphoria assaults that region without much hesitation and forces an explosive plume of pleasure to erupt across your face and drive your sinuses to seize. The ‘cracked egg’ continues to drip down from my jaw, into my neck and finds some stagnancy as it pools into my shoulders. It feels like Icy Hot, but reverse. A warm ethereal sludge soaks my bones and finishes in a tingling, almost menthol cool. While a significant portion of the initial euphoria is transitioned to other regions of your body, I find that the faucet never really turned off. I feel an excess build into my head, adding weight and a mental slowness. Not stupid or simple, just slow and a little distant. Wedding Cake encourages you to get lost in a jacket of supreme physical comfort and become lost in a lagoon of benign personal introspection. Nothing too deep, just thinking of movies and ridiculous aspects of your day. I highly suggest this strain for someone seeking a delightful way to swoon yourself to sleep at the end of the day or really make an impact during your lunch break at work. Wedding Cake is extremely potent in the indica direction and offers little to no help as far as the energizing or uplifting qualities. Not to say that this strain automatically knocks you out, but it certainly does not promote mobility or ambition. Wedding Cake is certainly a sit down and kick back variety of experience.

Holy Balls, I loved this Wedding Cake. It was exceptionally different from Lifted’s and I expected y’all to be competing rather directly. I like when a single strain can have two distinctly different phenos. It adds value to trying strains you’ve already had from other producers. I wanted to hate this weed so bad and talk shit on your price point, but it was super solid. From the pheno, building aroma, powerful clouds and palpable high…there are no complaints. Cured well, weighed in at 3.65 grams. I can’t wait to see how your other strains stack up because I’ve heard your Sunset Sherbet and OZ Kush are even better, even though this one bears the highest posted percentage. PERCENTAGE AIN’T EVERYTHING PEOPLE. Anyway, thanks for reading and I will hit you with another review in a couple days!

Special thanks to The Evergreen Market for having The Exotikz for the amazing price of $48.00 an eighth! Get some before it spikes! The people there are wonderful, eager to help and extremely knowledgable. Visit their website and check out their many convenient locations!

Wedding Cake Total Score: 95/100

Stay high and stay blessed,

Kushman Bonglegs

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