toasted n’ posted proudly presents…
Lemon Diesel by House of Cultivar
Lemon Diesel by House of Cultivar
Welcome back to toasted n’ posted, where we are just on a rampage as of late! A strain a day for the past three days? I just have to do them whenever I have time, I have forgone any traditional means of scheduling. Thanks for hanging in there, your reward? Lemon Diesel from House of Cultivar. Now while Leafly feeds me some bullshit about it being a cross of California Sour and Lost Cost OG; I know my Cultivar and I have to assume that theirs is a cross using their Lemon Skunk and probably Sour Diesel or Tres Dawg. If I’m wrong, I would be astounded. I could find out the true lineage with a text…but…this is more fun. Anyway, let’s have a ‘gas’ with another high octane strain from House of Cultivar!
I put on my imaginary gas mask as I prepare to wage war with an undoubtedly frightful gas! 3…2..1…The airlock was broken and I prepare to ward off a monstrous abrasive storm. Quite the opposite, a gentle breeze drifts in. This tempered wind preaches a message of a sweet citrus quality mutated with a bizarre piercingly clean chem. Its comparable to a wicked Windex cast upon a soured gust. The body of the accentuation is cast in foresty pungent pine. The combination of these two prominent odors mimics freshly cleaned carpet. This aroma is just something you want to rub your face into; lose yourself in the velvety embrace of Lemon Diesel. I helplessly encircle the chemical cleaner note, its delicious but there has to be more depth to this strain. I just come to expect it from House of Cultivar at this point, they never serve simple sandwiches. I tear into the bud in hopes of disturbing the domineering citrus balm cloaking the atmosphere. At a mild fracture, the pine sour whips up into a delightful whirlwind scattering its enhanced essence into every other note. This wandering war path carved a skunky impression into the trunk of the blossoming pine tree. The initially benign citrus note evolves into a gassy impression that tingles your nostrils with its sugary subdued resiny qualities.
These nugs are huge and sandblasted with radiant trichomes, resembling the abominable snowman rather than cannabis. The fortified foliage bolsters itself with layers of brilliant color. The top of the calyx camouflages itself with a somber seaweed thats only giveaway are the reactive sparkling resin glands that cluster wildly atop its self assured leaves. Thin trails of roasted bronze hair snake down the sides of these mammoth buds. Crystal coated ladders allow me to visually repel down through the transcendent layers of color. The strain seems to brighten towards the base, a more lively olive stirs with a dark fern color to create a scintillating sea. If you are so bold as to dare stare up the skirt of Lemon Diesel you will find hues of haunting white and electrified lime! But it is best to respect this lady from a distance or you risk being stabbed by her barbed pungency. The reinforced bud is quite difficult to pry from the thick stem. The buds seep out a resiny trap, thickly coating your fingers in its encumbering adhesive. As you struggle to free yourself from the resin, and still, the bud from the flower…you may find yourself in quite the ‘sticky situation’. Sorry, had to. Normally, I would expect something crowned Lemon Diesel to be built to embody all of the trademark sativa characteristics, but this baby has got back! The largest of the buds was over an eighth by itself! If this is how sativa can look, sign me up! I am enchanted by how the armies of milky white trichomes stand patrolling every available ridge of this vivacious verdancy. This is by far one of my favorite phenotypes that I have encountered in recent months.
Leaf to flame, I am brushed by a zesty carriage as it storms down into my lungs. This is by far one of the smoothest smokes that I’ve experienced yet. You are kind of left with a brief impression of ‘is it over?’ The true treasure lies on the decadent exhale. Citrus stirs seamlessly with a refreshing chemmy pine impression. This flavor has a damp texture to it and lingers on your pallet long after each hit. As the bowl chars and the flavors simmer, the more forest driven qualities of this flower emerge. The pine stands strong, but the initial playful citrus has fallen into the raw encroaching woodland. A stew of soured wood and fragrant herb seems to boil at the heart of this strain. These notes build exponentially to the point where I am detecting definitively skunky characteristics! The enticing and provocative skunky kick builds and builds until it becomes the most outspoken identity of the back-half of the bowl.
Lemon Diesel is a bit of a creeper with a delayed one-two punch effect. You are pepped up by the exotic flavor and initially energizing influence. At the same time, a profound relaxation washes over you as this font of creativity takes hold. The pool of relaxation continues to fill, overflow and flood your body with seductive comfort. You are helpless to the massaging physical embrace that this high offers. I feel as though my frame has been filled with styrofoam, a comfortable cushioning is amending my joints. I also feel an assertive relief cast over my stomach, I personally suffer from acid reflux and these terpenes seem to react very well as to quelling it. As this boiling euphoria sizzles away all of my ailments, I feel a bit hazy.
Existing through the extreme levels of this high is somewhat like trying to see through fog. While blessed with a renewed source of energy and drive to do something with it; this mental ‘veil’ chains you to a slow start for as long as it persists. After a few minutes it peters out and you are left with only the divine jacket of comfort and a serious drive. It’s time to clean, make plans, go to work, and do anything productive really. While this strain’s phenotype wasn’t particularly indicative of a sativa, this high dispels all doubt! Such a profound motivating, coaching high rooted in the body of a comfortable sedation is something to be treasured!
Damn, I feel electrified after smoking this strain. As if I just stepped off of a motorcycle and I’m prompted to reorder my wind whipped hair. This is a truly exhilarating high coupled with a gorgeous body and an exotic combination of terpenes. I thoroughly enjoyed every bit of this strain. Be sure to try anything produced by House of Cultivar at your earliest opportunity. They are widely available in most shops in the greater Seattle area. I’ll leave it at that, what good is a quest without a bit of a search? Thanks for reading!
Lemon Diesel Total Score: 91/100
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