toasted n’ posted proudly presents…
Kosher Tangie by House of Cultivar
Kosher Tangie by House of Cultivar
Whatsup with it? Welcome back to toasted n’ posted! Super stoked to be dipping into the arsenal of House of Cultivar once again! Today we have Kosher Tangie which is one of their owner’s absolute favorites! If that isn’t enough of a commendation, I don’t know what is. Kosher Tangie is one of the easier lineages to decipher. Kosher Kush, a prominent indica and the playful enlightened sativa Tangie; make for one twisted sister. Let’s see what’s under the hood of Kosher Tangie by House of Cultivar.
Unfastening the tasteful wooden door from this ornate bastille, I prepare for a riotous fragrance. I brace myself with clenched teeth and a grimace, only to be met by a soft and inviting air. The stale, yet enticing musk conjures a cartoon hand to helplessly lure me closer to the body of the aroma. The milky aroma stews with the air to occasionally radiate an impression of aged dampened wood curved by an enticing earthy curd. Much to my surprise and delight, this note continues to build to a point where it fringes on cheesiness! Scratch that, this baby is totally cheesy. I am certain of the curdled aura looming over the shimmering verdant planet. A light sour and sharp tingle falls on the tail of the dairy domineer. Occasionally this whipping fragrance brushes into an invigorating brisk herb, very similar to lemongrass. Atop of that is a touch of benign basil or some other foreign bold herbal hand. With just a squeeze, I am pleased to find a nest of sweet nectar among the fibers of Kosher Tangie’s subdued essence. This hidden gem expands and melts into every crevasse of the cheesy kingdom. During this wild revolt, a stealthy skunk agent sneaks in under the thundering cheese clouds. Otherwise, the identity of Kosher Tangie seems to remain up front with its intentions.
This phenotype is a show stopper. This flower glows for a number of reasons; from the vibrant colors to the insane volume of trichomes, you are sure to fall in love time and time again. The dimensionless sea of scintillating trichomes toss across all available surfaces. This strain is one of the rare cases where the sheer number of trichomes actually obscures the true colors of the foliage. Every element of this bud is polluted by the eerie, but enchanting glow produced by these globulous milky heads. From what I can discern, the identity of the sandblasted leaves lies in a haunting naturally pale lime hue. Occasionally the profile downshifts and dips into some more somber forest and juniper shades. The darker regions of the calyx provide brilliant contrast for the network of proudly independent hairs that trellis across the atmosphere of this flower. Shocking tangerine hue blesses these sugary tendrils as they conjure a crystal canopy effectively crowning the already resplendent resin glands. Like I said, the true color of this flower is probably the last thing you will notice, but by no means is it lackluster in that department. I love examining the surging transitions of green as I embrace the formidable bud structure. I would insist that this phenotype leans towards Kosher Kush, but the spread and curling ambitions that the cola maintains reassures me that Tangie is all but distant in this production. This bud, as with all flower from House of Cultivar, is extremely sticky. So much so, I find it helps to keep my grinder in the freezer until it is time to grind, the cold seems to keep super resiny buds from being a nightmare.
Leaf to flame, I am blessed by a sweet flattened breath of decomposing woodland. The raw, sunken air with an herbal touch perfectly mimics an exotic pasteurized cheese. It is truly refreshing to receive a semblance of a traditional cheesy kick. The odor is obscure but rooted in a savory unbroken skunk. A heavy benign sugar lingers like a foreshadowing fog, carefully decorating the prominent directions with brilliant emphasis. The storm of flavor precipitates a profile that is truly memorable, in more ways than one, the flavor lingers on your pallet long after each hit. There is a satisfying kushy burn that becomes an adequate backboard to the buoyant sweet cheese. The exhale, however, is supremely skunky and peppery as you release the remainder of each succulent breath. In the aftermath of this cycle is an invigorating, nearly chemmy stream. The flavors in this cross are extremely complex, contrary to Kosher Kush by itself. I find it really interesting that this smoke leans so much towards the Kosher characteristics, but still manages to carry so many complex nuances. Tangie proves to be an effective muse as a light citrine air pads the compounding belligerence of each subsequent blow delivered by this powerful herb. The flavor is consistent throughout the smoke and I would go as far to say it emboldens and evolves to effectively meld all of the competing notes into one molten symphony. I truly enjoyed every last puff of this divine strain.
Let’s put it this way, you probably won’t need more than one bowl. It seems that after a certain building point, Kosher Tangie completely takes over. As you are god-smacked upside the head by a thrashing torrent of euphoria, all you can taste is resin. It appears that all of my senses are now willing prisoners of Kosher Tangie, participants in its twisted game. Who am I kidding, let’s play. In the beginning, the high ramps up slowly paling in comparison to the provocative layers of flavor. That was my mistake, little did I know, that a strong incapacitating hand was snaking up my backside. Right after I finished my first half gram or so, I felt a firm grip take my neck and poise my face for a perfect sucker punch. I embrace an ethereal shockwave that becomes a true test of my fortitude.
What is unique about this high is that while your body is certainly fighting a war, I’m still fairly competent. I describe this high as a somewhat debilitating experience, but you are still very much in control of what remains of your temporarily dilapidated motor skills. I rock from side to side as I drunkenly heave my fingertips upon these keyboard in a desperate attempt to produce something close to a worthwhile read. I am in love with a bud that carries this much firepower, not because you need this level all of the time, but I always reserve great confidence in knowing I have a trip to the moon in my pocket. Like in the smoke, Tangie takes a backseat; but still manages to guide and manage the talents of Kosher Kush to new heights. This might be user-specific, but this buzz makes me feel like dancing. The kind of carefree jamming you can only engage in after a handful of drinks and a couple well-timed joints. This experience is built for the homebody, but if you can manage to confuse your sloth ambitions and get out of the house…you’re going to be down to party.
House of Cultivar coming in hot! As always, the unmeasurable amount of care and thought that their staff puts into putting this flower on the shelves truly comes through. Just look at the trichomes, I shouldn’t even have to say any more…just end it abruptly like the Sopranos. But I must continue on to say, I didn’t expect to love this strain as much as I did. Personally, I was kind of bored with Kosher Kush as a whole. But this unlikely pairing with Tangie, of all things, revived my passion for this jewish juggernaut. Kosher Tangie is a true indica-dominant hybrid that will have you leaning, but not knocked out.
Kosher Tangie Total Score: 96/100
Stay high and stay blessed,
Website Donation – Toasted n’ Posted
If you want to see my work continued or appreciate my style, every bit helps to support my art. I appreciate every donation, I hope you enjoy the review.