Chem Cookies by SubX

toasted n’ posted presents…

Chem Cookies by SubX

cc1Chem Cookies by SubX

Welcome back stoney bolognas to Toasted n’ Posted! This strain heralds my fiftieth post, so I think that is pretty cool. I’ve been receiving some great feedback and I appreciate all of you for it. Let’s see how far this can go. I’m super excited to have another strain from the unofficial ‘terpgods’ Subdued Excitement. We are going to smoke some Chem Cookies. They have truly reinvented the orange terpene within their Orange Poison, deliver a ferocious hashy punch with their Hawaiian Dutch, I could go on and on. We’re going to dive into a cross of two heavyweight strains; Chemdawg and Girl Scout Cookies. There is almost no likelihood of this not roasting your face off. This powder keg packs 28.6% THCA and no CBD to cushion the blow. SubX grows with no pesticides and manages to consistently produce some of the most flavorful flower I have ever had the pleasure of tasting. Enough talk, let’s blaze.


I enter the chamber of death and embrace the volatile incense before me. I am met with a friendly handshake. An extremely raw dry air gusts into my senses. The soothing storm ushers in a sedative cool. My nose feels chilled by the collective sweetness. The note leaves a wake of a mild skunky foulness. As I bask in the potent wake, I am stirred into a peppery herbal breeze. The way that the light herbal fire stirs up at the tail of the skunky notes emphasizes a pinene impression. The spike dies and dives back into the musky tarpit from whence it came. The domineering earthy aura of Chem Cookies makes it difficult to detect anything beyond the muddy mask. A sweet sludge trickles into every pore of your pallet and you are bound to the seductive slush.

I have to tear these nugs apart to get closer. I snap every tender fiber under my nostrils, I am struck with by an unwieldy pine spike. The lance was decorated with an invigorating skunky lick. The initial cooling sensation surges and provides a relaxing bridge between the two conflicting flavors. The two war with each other until only a sweet mist cast over an earth driven pinene remains. The aftermath relaxes into an impressive ‘new car’ smell.  The initial impression of Chem Cookies is nothing compared to the level of personality that you experience when you dare to break a couple branches. This flower stirs together to create a gassy and skunky haze that is both light and refreshing.

These buds are truly what dreams are made of. Each nug contains a universe worth of trichome soaked stars. It is no exaggeration when I say that it is difficult to see the color of the flower due to the crowds of trichomes. The star of the show was the enormous eggplant colored nug that was completely coated by amber resin. The freckled foliage presents two apparent phenotypes but with common characteristics. I would say that the bud structure adequately represents both partners but definitely leans toward the inverted stoutness of Girl Scout Cookies.  Both the popcorn sized lime buds and the behemoth purple one share the same mop of medallion hairs. The roaring tendrils compete as they attempt to scale the sides of this skunky monolith. Small networks of tan arms link together into tender tumbleweeds.  As I tear into the sour flesh of Chem Cookies, my fingertips are incriminated by a sticky glue trap. The buds seem to hold some serious weight for their size. Despite the bulky pheno, I can envision this strain sending me to the moon not the couch. I am charmed by the roaring fiery hairs cast over the twinkling plum bud. I am always a sucker for ‘that purp.’

Leaf to flame, I seem to have had a moment of human error. I distinctly felt a mint kiss pass my lips. I had never experienced a tickle quite this zesty, I feel it had to have been a mistake. The purging breath dies into a savory indica satisfaction. In this moment the OG Kush heritage certainly steps forward to ground these rocketing sativa notes. The kushy impression encourages your vulnerability to a thick herbal kick. Once smitten, the flavor echoes consistently throughout every renewed cloud. I find shelter in the hide of another developing flavor. A foreign sucrose impression emerges to pervert the reckless pepper. The tender candy like aggression mimics the trademark kiss of Chemdawg. If I had to summarize this strain in two words, I would say ‘Sweet Steam.’ My mind feels as if it had just shotgunned a cup of green tea with every puff. I sip on the master crafted clouds as they carry my tastebuds away into a gentle oblivion.

There is a fine dank earthy quality built throughout the base of each cloud. This flavor in particular seems to cure as the bowl chars, eventually baking a saucy hash. As the hashy afterburn develops, the fiery peppery qualities also seem to blossom. The second wind found in Chem Cookies may prove to be too abrasive for new smokers and may better be left to those who seek herbal annihilation. It seems to be a cruel joke considering how welcoming the green leaves of the bowl are. I actually prefer the formidable spice presented on the back half of Chem Cookies. A forest fire rages in my mouth and I revel in the smoldering pinene cinders. The Chemdawg does an excellent job of expanding on the saharan qualities of the Durban Poison parent. Though I reiterate that the flavor is largely dominated by its Chemdawg lineage, but propped up and accentuated by the coupling with Girl Scout Cookies.

A tingling hand seems to extend like a shadow over my head. It seems to massage every crevice that the smoke touches. The delicate salve quickly takes any pain or feeling in general out of your skull. I relax my shoulders and feel the sensation pulse through the rest of my body. The suppressive syrup provides an extremely medicinal effect. I’ve only smoked a gram of this flaming foliage and I worry if I don’t need to harness myself to my desk chair. This level of body high is the epitome of Netflix & Chill. While the leading impression seems to be one of a sedating concrete, the sativa elements do not take long to step forward. My mind is solidified into a metaphysical meteor, I didn’t realize that I was being prepared for space travel. No matter if I tried to fight it, I felt myself being propped onto the launchpad.

The sativa leads with an explosive ‘mind expansion.’ I feel that it is best described as an uncontrollable rush of ideas and inspiration. Rest assured that the indica bodysuit is prepared to soak up any impact that you encounter in sativa space, anxiety included. The mindset is extremely conversational, providing a general feeling of ease and fluency regarding passage of time. I am somewhat distressed by the fact that I have no one here to talk to. The plights of living alone. This high emphasizes some extremely creative and high functioning qualities within the consumer. For every bit as fiery and belligerent as the smoke can be at times, the same intensity is matched by the productive nature. Every word seems to flow from my fingertips as they manifest upon the monitor. This probably wasn’t the best strain to review as I prepare for bed, I will have to find a quality Kung Fu movie to lull me to sleep.

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All I can say is dude. Sub-Dude Excitement, you crush it once again. I am a little bit of a hater when it comes to Cookies crosses, but they are a necessary evil. I certainly wouldn’t mind being stuck on a desert island with a batch of Chem Cookies. Chem Cookies will provide any level of user with a palpable high bathed in a massaging relief. There are several layers of notable flavor built into the trichome decorated buds. This strain is an excellent fit among the ranks of must try strains from SubX. Thank you for continuing to choose passion over profit and continuing to bring the top shelf dank to the state of Washington. Thank you to all of those who have stuck with me for all FIFTY reviews, I hope you stick around for fifty more. 😉

Stay high and stay blessed,

Kushman Bonglegs

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