toasted n’ posted presents…
OG x Chem Dawg by House of Cultivar
OG x Chem Dawg by House of Cultivar
Greetings stoney bolognas! I hope this weekend finds you well as I dive into another top shelf strain. Todays flower is from House of Cultivar, a producer that has just recently entered the vicious arena of top shelf cannabis contention. I believe that the week I purchased this was more or less their first appearance in Washington dispensaries. I rarely get to try things as soon as they hit the shelves, but it looks like House of Cultivar wants everyone to get a taste of their chronic! It was very difficult choosing which strain I wanted to try, they had five to six brand new phenotypes that all looked fantastic. Luckily my unrelenting obsession with Chem Dawg made it easier to bring just one home.
House of Cultivar’s OG x Chem Dawg boasts a stunning 33.9% THCA, 30.73% is pure THC. There is no question that this must be true Chem Dawg, no substitute could manifest such insane numbers. The flower was all harvested within a month, so I am somewhat worried about a ‘rushed’ process. I have hope that they wouldn’t hurry anything unnecessarily especially since this is their grand premier! Enough speculation, let’s set this flower on fire.
Let’s see what odors that this glass house is cultivating. Loosening the stylish wood cork, I was blasted back by a sharp herbal flavor. Flat and musky, the first impressions stew themselves together to sloppily embody the herbal bitterness of a green tea. Equal parts sour and sweet, the thrashing flavors entwine to deliver a touch of lush wetlands. My typical experiences with Chem Dawg highlight the more pungent diesel notes, but this blend seems to dwell heavily on the earthy, grassy side of the fence. The flavor I ultimate seek is that fiery peppery chem taste that is almost exclusive to Nepalese varieties. A light sourness dances under the fountain of green tea essence. The sourness curves the piney and foresty notes of this flower into a gentle hashy kiss delivered promptly unto your nose. A gargantuan skunky earthworm lays at the bottom of this mountain of flavor, writhing and tunneling, upheaving the raw fiery terpenes lying dormant within this production.
No one can read my toker face. My lord, this flower is simply immaculate to gaze upon. Each resplendent trichome stands proudly against the background salad of leafy greens. As you handle the bud, each leaf gives with a satisfying squish or crunch. I’d say this flower carefully walks the line of being too fresh and being effectively cured, it may have benefitted from a little more time being dried. Had to put on my snob hat for a moment, but it is hard to be a pessimist when you are staring down these constellations of resin. Every individual leaf screams for attention, appearing to be designed with freckles as the amber color illuminates a network of verdancy ranging from lime to rich olive hues. Tangled with thin crimson hairs, this red head appears to be a pulsing vortex of psychoactivity. Let’s hope this freckled beauty gets us higher than Lindsay Lohan. While the buds carefully clump together, they seem to be leafy in nature. The bud structure of a true 50/50 hybrid. The buds form stout healthy colas wrapping tightly to the stem, showering every inch of plant matter with flawless trichomes. This strain is so much fun to examine, an electric green waterslide unleashing raging waves of trichomes.
Leaf to flame, I am blown away. I am coated in the thick syrupy embrace. The gelatinous clouds leave traces of a light sugar wrapped in a vortex of peppery hash. This introduction segues naturally into a smooth and savory exhale. The breath is so satisfying it is reminiscent of guzzling down sweet flesh. OG X Chem Dawg is like candied bacon pestled into a mountain of pine and mint. The electricity of the shocking woodland notes will immediately grant you a mild sativa high. The afternotes of the notion carry themselves as mildly hoppy and skunky, but still so satisfying. The combination of herbal spiciness and raw skunky pine molds together to create a great Chem Dawg impression. That fiery chem flavor is one of the things that drives me to keep exploring as a smoker, I was very pleased to find it in this production.
The high comes on quite gently in contrast to the lively peppery smoke. The thundering clouds usher in a realm of cool, calm, collectedness. While you are in reality, violently spiked awake by the sheer potency of this bud and experiencing a crack like sativa high. OG x Chem Dawg effectively melds the world of sativa and indica to mimic a different sense of perspective. You will be able to see the both sides of the coin; you can shut off your mind and recline into nothingness, or you could grab your keys and your wallet and run to a storage locker auction. The high is extremely versatile, but very explosive towards the direction you choose to angle it. This strain summons insane cotton mouth so be sure to have a beverage near unless you want to experience the Sahara in your mouth. The rocket fueled sativa sensation launches you into orbit, I feel like I am constantly transcending the altitude of my last ‘mental check.’ I better start burping before I drift into a giant fan…(Willy Wonka?) But the high eventually plateaus when it hits the invisible glass ceiling. The mountainous high then crashes and cascades down onto your being drowning you in a rushed euphoria. As you turn under the white water of mysticism, your mind’s eye expands to consume the boundless space of the universe. I see all, understand none, but was so comfortable. This strain definitely has some nirvana built into it. Meditate on a gram of this and you may wake up as Siddhartha.
Oh my lord, this strain got me so high. My mind is still erupting with free flowing thought, so forgive the casual nature of this review. With Washington being a semi-established recreational state there are a lot of people talking when a newcomer like House of Cultivar enters the ring. You know what, eff the haters, I truly enjoyed this strain. Those old dogs may have some good tricks, but maybe this new dog is from space and has tricks that like defy gravity and shit….these are things you don’t think about. Every bud was fresh, crunchy, stanky, and coated in trichomes. If you can find something wrong with that, then you probably hate America.
Thank you House of Cultivar for providing quality smoke, however, you need to cut it out with that $60.00 an eighth stuff. There are too many options for local smokers to try and compete at that price point. I can spend $10.00 less and buy similar caliber bud and people who aren’t educated on the market will make that decision in favor of saving $10.00 9 times out of 10. No hate, I just want to see y’all succeed and stick around. Also, thank you Clutch Cannabis for having the best selection of cannabis products as well as a dope collection of budtenders to serve it to you! Help a brother out, I need more smoke!
Stay high and stay blessed,
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