Ewok by Coastal Cannabis

toasted n’ posted presents…

Ewok by Coastal Cannabis



Ewok by Coastal Cannabis

I hope everyone found time to burn one on this lazy Sunday. For today’s strain we will have to cross a few galaxies to reach the dank jungle planet of Endor. I’m going to be smoking some Ewoks. Not the furry little critters, but a strain that is truly out of this world. This intergalactic flower is a cross of Albert Walker and Tahoe Alien. I’ve never tried Albert Walker, or even heard of it, so I am bracing myself for some unique flavor. Tahoe Alien seems to be a strain on the rise, with a soaring increase in popularity within recent years. With my favorite 60% indica dominant balance, I am ready to bask in a cocoon of comfort with a sativa stimulus.

This production of Ewok is from Coastal Cannabis and they do a great job preserving the true qualities of their strains through natural growing and excellent curing. They knocked me dead with their Hash Plant, so they are not poised to disappoint.


When I picked up this weed at Fweedom, I did not even look at the nugs very closely. But WOW, These Ewok nuggets exhibit very cool qualities. The flower seemed oddly dense, but not in a way that it was unnaturally coerced into being so. Long, thin, and dense like the barrel of a gun, my eighth was dominated primarily by one nugget. Hey, One Nug One Heart, right? This crystalline pine cone awaiting me flexes 21.1% THC.  Even the smaller nuggets stretch into a similar oblong structure. Ewok is leafy considering the density and ranges from a pear color to a light olive. The flower wears the colors as layers of mossy armor. Each verdant link of its armor shimmers with kief. Stumps of apricot hair are scattered across the surface of the foliage. The trichomes are bizarre, they appear small and stout in nature. I have seen something like this before, but my first thought is that they may have been bent or even broken. Though that doesn’t make much sense either considering Coastal usually takes time and care with curing and wouldn’t just recklessly damage their trichomes.


Though I was taken by the circus worthy appearance of these buds, I was equally taken in by an array of peaceful odors. I’d say the dominant scent was that of a sweet forest mulch. Like the stuff you would find on a playground at national parks. Underneath the sweet earth lies a mild fruitiness. The flavor seems familiar, however, at this time it is not a fruit I can label. There is also a haze of a skunky-fungal smell that hangs low throughout the body of this flower. Not smelling of fungus as in mold or mildew, but in the way of a cold, dank, a woodland early in the morning being gradually evaporated of moisture.


When I broke the buds, only then did some dormant citrus qualities emerge to tickle my nostrils. Reduced to a pillowy fluff, this delicate kiefy powder lined my grinder. So extremely light and fluffy, I have to take extreme precaution as to not let the wind steal half of my bowl away! Looking like a ripped pillow taken from King Midas I am ready to ENDORse this bud with my lighter. Get it? Because Ewoks live on Endor…? Oh God, I’m Lonely.

When I ripped this baby I was sent into a shallow grave, my palette was flooded with the ripe flavor of damp earth. The smoke clouds are extremely thick and hardy. Lining these large abrasive clouds are traces of something I can only describe as a mint flavor. This minty sensation is emphasized on the exhale, I do not feel correct labeling the flavor solely as mint though. Perhaps it is just an intense presence of pinene that comes off as minty. Eventual torrents of herbal hashy fire dissipate into the tender residual smog of grassy menthol. I can imagine that this is what the gargantuan space trees on Endor probably taste like. I wouldn’t be surprised if this stellar bud was a hybrid of those alien trees themselves. #conspiracytheories

This high engages you very quickly. Before I knew it I was thrown into my own body like a strange prisoner. As I fall into my cell, the walls become padded with pillows of a comfortable body stone. Beware, this sedation evolves gradually undetected. (It’s a super fun surprise) There is a pleasuring sense of alertness brought on by this bud, I attribute this to both the sativa influences but more-so the stinging minty goodness shocking your sinuses awake with every green hit. Baked and wide awake, I dive deeper with each bowl into the perplexing high of Ewok. This flower encourages serious munchies and doing everything but work. I am aggressively coerced to stop writing and get back to this epic Kung Fu movie. (Red Cliff, if y’all care) The more I smoke of this flower, it displays some very mild citrus flavor that was hidden under the veil of rambunctious earth.

With continued use, the body stone topples over the sativa sensations and you will gradually lose yourself to dreamland. After the first bowl, I could already feel the satisfying indica sensation massaging my legs and feet into a therapeutic oblivion. This is bowl….3…. and moving is far from the first thing on my mind. But what else is new? Even as I’ve become well introduced to this strain, I still enjoy the puzzle of trying to accurately place the flavors. This powerful, charmingly earthy bud will knock you down if you are not careful and leave you sitting in the woods looking like this guy.screen-shot-2017-02-12-at-11-13-00-amEwok exhibits a spicy hashy flavor with a pinene lance. The pine’s mint flavor is  seemlessly entangled with the damp, dank woodland qualities that are also pronounced in this strain. This flower smoked a lot better than I expected it to and made me feel silly for waiting so long to do this review. These nugs are funky-cool to look at and flex some pretty cool terpenes. I was glad that Coastal Cannabis isn’t content on leaving me unconscious with all of their strains. Ewok provides a comfortable mellow stone fit for many activities, I would highly recommend this to a first time user. The friendly, natural complexities of Ewok can entertain you for hours! Thank you Coastal Cannabis for providing another truly Top Shelf experience! Special thanks also to Fweedom in North Seattle, they are a kickass dispensary that treats every patient with kindness and care.

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