Velvet Kush by Clandestine Gardens

toasted n’ posted presents…

Velvet Kush by Clandestine Gardens


Velvet Kush by Clandestine Gardens

Oh my goodness. I don’t even know where to start with Velvet Kush by Clandestine Gardens. I came into 365 Recreational Cannabis for some Alaskan Thunder Fuck (next week) but I read a couple extra names I had to see in person. Velvet Kush was actually the last on my list, but once I saw these buds there was only question…how much I wanted. Any bud this purple invokes magnetism in my heart and I had to have them. Harvested about two months ago, these buds are perfectly cured into crunchy cones of goodness. These mini nukes are packed with nothing but THC, 29.1% to be exact. No CBD, CBG or other variations, just one powder keg full of psychoactive nutrition.


I’ve barely been able to wait until today to smoke this mauve madness. Without further ado, I set a safety perimeter of 30ft and crack the seal. I expected a whirlwind of Grandaddy Purple resembling myrcene and limonene, but boy, was I surprised. I was driven backwards by an herbal riptide. The odor was thick, but smooth and presented itself as a blend of herbal pepperiness. Earthy and spicy, there is a light kiss of lavender hovering underneath its belly. Like a remora to the belly of a great dank shark, the trichomes cling to the midnight foliage. This concentration of purple coloration, is what I live for as a smoker. Now many cannasseurs will interject that the manipulation of color can occasionally lead to a sacrifice in THC content. I am not saying this particular strain was forced into purple coloration, but even if it were true, it increases the sexiness content 100-fold.

I always try to remind people that enjoying Cannabis is a full sensory experience. There are so many great qualities that can make you treasure a strain; whether it be taste, visual aesthetic, smell, the high, the mindset, or the setting. A strain can also always be your favorite ‘just cuz‘. Velvet Kush mimics a star scattered sky occasionally interrupted by a quick torrent of orange hairs. Buried under the murky purple waters, are vibrant green leaves providing a contrasting stage for the parade of trichomes to dance upon. The green and purple side by side gifts you with a rare setting there you can compare the resin glands against different backdrops. screen-shot-2017-01-28-at-2-34-50-pm

“This is my Velvet, short and stout. The stem is the handle that sparkles throughout.”

Woah Nelly, from the first hit I could tell that Velvet Kush perfectly embodies all of the characteristics of a true indica. I have this weird sensation when I smoke master crafted indica, I call it The Chicken Test. In my experience when smoking supreme purples and kush varieties,  the smoke makes me salivate immensely and for some reason the flavor registers as chicken, a hashy-earthy chicken.  I believe that there is a part of me that becomes so satisfied that my brain emulates the sensation of eating fresh fried chicken after a long day. That first bite, into the untouched skin and juicy flesh…produced over and over again with each hit. It may be different for other people, I am willing to muse that whatever flavor your subconscious loves most is produced when you nail that indica g-spot. This may be foreshadowing a storm of munchies that is intended to follow. screen-shot-2017-01-28-at-2-32-15-pm

After passing the chicken test with flying colors, Velvet submerges you in an instantaneous indica body stone. It takes a few hits to build up to a formidable high. Before you really notice how stoned you are, this lavish lavender will have your limbs frozen over, moving slower than glaciers. I think I could get hit by a car right now and walk away unscathed. An extreme example, but I can find no other way to convey the sublime comfort I’ve found lounging in the realm of Velvet Kush. Maybe ‘velvet’ is a hint to the luxurious nature of the flower.

About halfway through the first bowl, I am blessed with the first tease of myrcene flavor. It presents itself as a soft floor of lavender-berry that rolled in and carpeted my tongue. A lovely touch to accent the chicken-driven tide pool in my mouth. By this time, my eyes had been reduced to slits, I could really really feel it. Eyelids were like the down blinds of a shady motel room, and my eyes are the paranoid criminal trying to peer out undetected. Standing still, I could feel my spirit or conscious swaying in and out of my body. My mind feels relatively unchanged other than the general relief from the body stone. But being this far in the article, I have to attest that it vastly improved my creativity and comprehension. That being said, your attention span suffers. During this article, I have paused for several youtube videos and I even freestyle rapped.

This Schoolboy Q album + Velvet Kush got me like:grimace

Anyway, I felt this post flowed far more naturally than some of the others. It could be my obsession with the pigments in this strain, but I accredit it to the uplifting tone of Velvet Kush. Even with a few distractions, I am making good time considering how long it can take me to produce a review of this depth. For a potent indica, I feel optimistic that I will still be useful at work later today. (and I intend to smoke a lot more bowls before then)

The hybrid of a creative stimulus and a divine body stone is more than appealing to me as a smoker. As long as you maintain the discipline to get yourself back on track after a few youtube videos, you could nurse this strain to coast through a work day. Clandestine, I see you took a lot of care into raising your children and I appreciate you for it. You are fully in contention to be my favorite grower, I got to get to know you better first. 😉

In favor of that, I will be reviewing your ATF late this week, or next. I hope you will be at Cannacon in February and I will be able to thank you in person! I smoked so much of this bag already I’ll have to put in some overtime to scoop another next week! I would love to keep a jar of this on my desk at all times. Truly a phenomenal production of a balanced indica. Velvet Kush will always set you down smooth.

Stay high and stay blessed,

Kushman Bonglegs


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