toasted n’ posted presents…

White Widow by Phat Panda

White Widow by Phat Panda

Happy Sunday everyone! I hope you all found time to relax and blaze today. Sunday is always my favorite day to smoke, especially in the morning. Anyway, today we’re reviewing White Widow by Phat Panda. Phat Panda is an explosively popular grower in the area that I have yet to try. *Steve Irwin Impression* Let’s find out!

The legends of White Widow float around constantly, especially in prohibition states. I remember hearing about the elusive White Widow ever since I had picked up a pipe. Everyone brought their imitations to the table trying to convince the rest of the circle that it was indeed this legendary strain. Well, today we will know for certain. It may be because of the Friday 13th weekend, but I am now realizing that the label was misprinted and smudged concealing most of the results from its lab tests. I remember in the store seeing this too, but the budtender assured me the __3% was met by an extra 20. Anyway. trying to dissect this riddle of factory error, I decipher that this flower has a high CBD content of something like 10.9%. I would’ve swapped the faulty jar for a new one, but I was drawn to one chunky nug in particular that forced me to get it anyway. I know this flower is renowned for its medicinal use, so I wouldn’t be surprised to find that high of a presence of CBD. I hope this flower performs up to the legends I’ve heard!

Upon carefully breaking the seal between me and this vicious keeper, I am stormed with a flat earthy fist. The odor balances out to be a skunky pungency matched with a subtle and natural sweetness. Under that, there are hints of something I can only describe as damp, fresh-cut grass. The smell profile as a whole is extremely woodsy, light, and pleasant. I hope this enticing performance isn’t leading me straight to my stoney grave…

True to its nomenclature, the first thing I notice about White Widow is the spiderweb of hairs carefully cast upon it. The tightly woven net attempts to preserve the flower’s delicate verdant flesh. What is interesting about this plant is that it shimmers in the light but it is difficult locate many of the trichomes upon closer inspection. The resin glands themselves seem short, dense, and somewhat lost in the rich foliage. I’m not sure if those kind of formation changes are even possible within trichomes. Usually if your trichomes are short, it means they are damaged, but these seem naturally short. The orange hairs spike and crackle like lightning cast over the jungle canopy. The strain stands in healthy stout colas. These aren’t the densest nugs I’ve seen, but you can give these a solid pinch. I know this will grind up beautifully.

In my bowl, sits as a sea of gold, tossing in the midday sun awaiting the destructive touch of my lighter. I prepare myself for the worst as I dive head first into this mythical entity named White Widow. The anterior of the inhale is a peppery sweetness laced with the flavor of fresh moist earth. This smooth barrier is penetrated by sharp spikes of hashy aroma. The smoke has an internal battering ram warring against its walls of earthy sweetness. Captive between the two potent parties, my experience with the clouds of White Widow varied from hit to hit. One taste was candy, the next could be a spicy annihilation.

The White Widow is definitely a creeping high. Its ‘poison’ starts out slow, and pedals up momentum into a palpable body stone. The discerning indica high is paralleled every step of the way by its congruous sativa high. Minutes in, I already recognize the versatility within this plant. The high can be coached into a productive session of writing as easily as it could be converted into Netflix and a nap. This malleable sense of comfort coaxed me to continue pulling rips from my pipe. The more I smoked, the natural sweetness faded into an essence of spicy hashish. Each pull of this ambrosial leafy mess comes along smoothly, my lungs had by this time adjusted to combat this formidable foe.

As each hit of indica bliss stings my core I am continuously lifted higher and higher into varying planes of thought. I could tell even as I’m writing this that my voice changed through the article. I stood in a daze, hindered by the soaring creativity of White Widow. I believe this strain would be great for running errands or possibly taking before a test if you normally catch pretest anxiety. Even after the first half gram bowl, I was sufficiently stoned and ready to return to my keyboard!

I found many parallels between this flower and the actual factual black widow spider. It is beautiful to look at, but far more potent than it appears. It is also small-bodied, sweet and kind at first, but reverts to a venomous hash partway through it’s kiss. This spider also sits in a web of crystalline hairs. This friendly representation of its deadly inspiration is known for palpable medicinal use. I enjoy the irony considering it’s namesake boasts taking lives, not saving them. Thank you Phat Panda for giving me the quality White Widow experience I deserved. I will be sure to seek out more of your high quality flower in the future!

Stay high and stay blessed,

Kushman Bonglegs